


Growing to care for you...

by Charlie9646



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Alpha James Potter, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Birth, Canon death of Regulus, Chronic Pain, D/s relationship a part of biology, Depression, Disability, F/M, Gender Play, Heat Cycles, Knotting, Language, Lily and Harry are dead, Loss, M/M, Mental Illness, Mention of Castration, Mind Healer, More tags to be added, Mpreg, Omega Severus Snape, PTSD, Severus isn’t good and isn’t bad either he’s grey, Sex, Sexism in reference to A/B/O, Sirius is a asshole, Submission, They are all assholes, Threats of Violence, but people they loved died, cursing, death a of child, intersex Severus due to being a omega, mentions underage but doesn’t actually act on it, mocking parents, rut cycles, submissive Alpha Remus, suicidal thoughts (Severus), tons of cursing, wheelchair
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-08-19 08:07:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20206465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie9646/pseuds/Charlie9646
Summary: James finds a tossed out Severus during a raid he plans to just toss him in Azkaban, but he smells him, and it stops him in his tracks. He was a omega and a pregnant omega.He cannot stop himself, he bonds with the unbounded Omega.Severus was beaten, raped, and then spell damaged to the point he was disabled. James had recently lost Lily in childbirth. As much as he hated Severus Snape he couldn’t allow the Omega to die.He took him home, gets him medical care, and most of all they have to try and build a relationship together.





	1. Standing in the rain (and getting soaked)

**Author's Note:**

> Warning two broken battered characters ahead. I don’t honestly know if this in character or not. But it is what it is.
> 
> Severus and James both spend a large time in their own thoughts. Lily’s condition will be mentioned in a later chapter. She’s not coming back. Regulus died in the cave. 
> 
> Voldemort knows he can’t outright kill a Omega his own not totally insane followers would turn him in for it. So he has the one who will do what he says as he says (Bellatrix), do something that should lead to death. 
> 
> He removes the mark because in his opinion Severus didn’t deserve it to begin with. And hoping said Omega is only found after his death he doesn’t want the mark to connect Severus back to the death eaters and himself. 
> 
> James is compelled to bond with him, because of Lily’s death (and Harry’s), as well as Regulus’s. Severus’s very soul was pleading for any non mated Alpha or Beta any to bond with him.  
Their is not consent, because by their very natures they can’t consent. Severus is tied to James after the bonding to do what would make him happy, while James is tied to do what is best for him. 
> 
> With these two damaged people in clear mourning those are two very different things. For James he is driven to care for Severus, make the bond more stable (sex), to give him ways to get around on his own, get him medical care. 
> 
> In the beginning Severus is simply drawn to try and find a way to make James happy by listening to him, doing what he says, but the other thread of this is bring Lily and Harry back. Which not even magic can do. This will change over time. 
> 
> As James grows to accept this, Severus’s desire will change to being the best Omega he can for James. Making their relationship work. Growing to care for each other. They may or may not ever actually fall in love, that’s on my muse.

James was on a raid, Lily his omega the most wonderful, beautiful, gentle, caring woman he ever known had died in childbirth taking their son with her. Harry James was his name, and they were buried in the church graveyard in Godric’s hollow. He threw himself headlong into work, trying to keep busy, but also hoping some dark wizard would send him to join his mate and son in the hereafter. It was raining so heavy, pelting his wool cloak he shivered. But when his nose caught the most wonderful smell he had smelled in what seemed like years, the rain no longer a matter. 

Omega his brain registered. Why was a omega allowed out on a raid? Omegas weren’t allowed to do field work for the Auror department! Not only was this a Omega, it was a unbounded, pregnant Omega. Without realizing it James caught himself hissing, and following the smell to it’s source. He found him in a alley, it was no Auror. The Omega was soaked to the bone in just his black robes, it’s, no his long black hair clung to his pale face. James then saw long pale fingers. 

No he thought. It couldn’t be. That wizard was a Beta! Or a Alpha! He surely wasn’t a omega! But yet scent doesn’t lie. Severus Snape was a omega, a pregnant unbound omega. Lying in a alley off of Knockturn alley. Someone must really of hated the Omega to do this to him, it was nearly a death sentence to get a Omega pregnant and not bond with him. 

As compiled by some outside force James bent down over the Omega, not even realizing when he had fallen to his knees next to his greatest childhood enemy. He pushed the wet black hair from Severus’s neck and bit into his mating bond gland. James was driven by something older than magic herself. Something from the time when humans still lived in caves. This was a unbound Omega, and he was a unbound Alpha. For humans to survive they by their very nature were driven to bond, but in the case of a pregnant Omega it was nearly something else. James was shocked no death eater had bonded with Severus. They must of been using a spell to stop the drive to. 

He was licking the wound trying to get it to heal when Severus came to. He cried out “Alpha you came back for me! When I lost my bond mark I thought you were dead! Regulus you promised you would never leave me! Alpha I can’t feel my legs! They did something to me, when he removed the mark from my skin, saying he couldn’t kill a pregnant Omega himself, even if was a traitor. So he did this, had them hide me away and unable to stand or walk to find another Alpha or you, but Regulus I had so long ago given up that I ever would see you again. I wished only death would come soon, so I could see you again.” He was down right babbling, tears, whimpers and whines.

Severus was delirious. Likely from lack of food, water and the bonding which sex would give him. It was unknown James how long the other man has laid in this alley. The Omega man likely incapable of answering that question even himself. James unbuttoned the other man’s left robe arm to check if the statement about his mark being removed was true. It was. 

All that he saw was Severus’s pale moonstone like skin. He sighed it was true, he couldn’t help but kiss the soft skin there, which caused the smaller man to whine. He yanked his wool cloak off trying to wrap it around his new Omega. He ended up having to sit down on the wet cobblestone alleyway supporting the man’s weight with his own body. Somehow he got the cloak and hood over Severus. He picked him up like long ago he use to carry Lily. Like a bride.

His heart ached for his dead Omega. The sound of her laughter, her fiery spirit, the way she talked about their future. Severus Snape however was at one point her best friend. And she had been his only friend. Surely if she would of seen him the way James’s had she would of wanted her husband to help the other man. That was it James was doing this for Lily, not because Severus smelled like heaven. Mint, Rosemary, lily of the valley and something that was just Severus himself. 

James knew he couldn’t fly them home. Severus couldn’t likely sit on a broom. He hadn’t been a great flier on the best of days, surely not now with a likely spinal cord injury. Floo, again he was going to have to stand. It was sidelong apaparating or port key. Merlin sake’s couldn’t this be any easier?

Pulling off his necklace a gift from Lily when they first married, and he first became a Auror. It was a port key to their home in Godric’s hollow. He took Severus’s clammy hand, and wrapped it around the chain. He was nearly kneeling desperate to support the Omega in his arms, and doing what was needed. He held onto as well and whispered the spell. Within seconds they in his living room. He laid the Omega on his plush couch. And spelled the fire on, and a few candles. 

He kneeled next to Severus Snape, former death eater, Slytherin and the man he hated the most of all, but yet now he was his Omega, and it was James’s job to care for him. They were mates. Regulus and Lily were both dead. He knew how Lily died, but for both him and Snape how Regulus Black died was a unknown. But for a bond of their nature clearly from Severus’s willingness to follow the Alpha in death, it was a strong bond, Regulus even if he wanted to wouldn’t be able to break it. The man was likely dead by You know who’s own hand. 

Then the monster had given the man’s Omega a death sentence without bothering to off him. Not even caring that the couple’s unborn children would die along with the Slytherin. James wanted to see the monster brought down, now more than ever. How dare he break their bylaws of their very race? Claiming he wanted to bring pureblood ways back, and yet not even recognizing that he was sentencing unborn children to death by his very actions. James let out a dangerous hacking laugh, what did it matter? These children were just halfbloods. Unneeded and unwanted by the “dark lord”, fairy dust, that man was the son of a muggle he was as much of a lord as swine. 

Realizing he had been lost long in his own thoughts for so long when Severus started to shiver, teeth clacking together. James gave up and spelled the man’s clothes off. They were all soaked anyway, doing nothing, but making him colder. He pulled a couple heavy quilts over the man and went to go fix him tea and a bland soup. Not knowing how long ago Severus had eaten it was the safest bet. The Omega had always been thin, but now he was all sharp angles bone looking like it would poke through pale skin, but a slightly rounded stomach. Snape likely was pregnant with at least twins, Singletons like Harry were uncommon with Alpha and Omega pairings, they were however common with Beta and Beta pairs, as well as Beta and Omega pairings.

Both the soup and tea were done, he poured the tea into a cup and the soup into a bowl. It was more broth than soup. If Severus could tolerate this James may go grab him a plain piece of bread. 

When he reached the Omega who had clearly warmed up some, and seemed to be more of himself he said “why did you do it Potter? Why did you save me? You should of just left me there to die. It would of been better for both of us. Now we are bonded together for life! And I was so close to seeing Regulus again.” The last part he whispered, more to himself than James. 

James said “and you would taken your children with you. Regulus’s children. The last of the Black line. Do imagine how angry his parents would be?”

Severus mocked him “your friend could grow up and settle down with that wolf of his. So long as he carries them they shouldn’t carry their sire’s condition. And Narcissa just had a son, Draco I believe. The Black family is fine without my children. Without making me suffer anymore than I already have!”

James’s hazel eyes narrowed snarling at his new mate, Lily died trying to bring their son into the world, knowing the risk of having him with her condition, and Snape wants to take his own children with him in death. “Your a coward Severus Snape”. 

Severus screamed grabbing the closest thing to him a pillow and throwing it at James’s face “Don’t. Call. Me. A. Coward! Have you ever lost anyone ever Potter? I lost my husband, my Alpha! I lost my best friend to you! My mother died right before Regulus! I have nothing to LIVE FOR! I can’t even use my stupid legs. I can’t brew, I can’t stand, I can’t aparate, I can’t use a Floo, I laid for three fucking days in that alley where you found me! I can’t even take care of myself!”

James grabbed his mate’s arms pinning them down. Staring into his black eyes. “You will NOT talk to your Alpha like that, Severus! You don’t one God Damn thing about me! You don’t know about the fact that Lily and my son, who she died bringing into this world, only for him to follow her in death are buried in that churchyard near here. My parents are dead. Peter is a fucking death eater! I may have to kill one of my best fucking friends! Or he might try and kill me! Don’t tell me about loosing someone I love! You don’t know one thing about me!”

James sighed loudly, trying to calm himself down. Realizing he was still in his soaked red Auror robes. He had been so focused on Severus he hadn’t bothered to change. He grabbed pillows to support Severus and helped the man sit up. He needed to get a mediwitch to see his mate. Without the mark on his arm anyone was fine. But James still wanted it to be Madam Pomfrey he trusted her, and he knew Severus felt the same. Shaking his thoughts away, he placed the soup and tea on the tray on Severus’s lap. 

“Eat Severus. You need to. After I am changed out of these wet clothes and you are done I will dress you.”

”Why should you? We have to cement the bond. And after I eat is as good time as any. Why dress me, just to have to struggle to undress me?”

James nodded. He went to his arm chair to take off his leather boots, and robes. The boots were sat in front of the fire, and the robe spelled to the basement he would wash it tomorrow. It wasn’t like he would be going back work anytime soon anyway.

The bond needed to be created more firmly, Severus needed medical attention, they had to get something to help him get around if it couldn’t be treated, and then the pregnancy. It wasn’t like James had to work anyway. His parents left him a ton of money, houses and items in general. He was set for ten lifetimes. He worked because he enjoyed it before Lily got sick, he stopped when she got pregnant, she had insisted they he at least continue part time before the pregnancy, wanting him to keep his own life. Sometimes he wonders if he should of even let her get pregnant, or that maybe just maybe he should of stopped working when she got sick.

He started back the day after Harry his prefect and wonderful son had died in his arms. He went looking for death, and yet all he found was a Omega who sought death to free him from his pain. James was stripped down to bare feet, his muggle jeans, and worn out tee shirt. It had been a gift from Lily. He yanked it off quickly with that thought. Snape could deal with his bare chest. All things considered the man was going to see a lot more. 

Severus had finished the tea and broth unable to turn enough to set them on the end table without moving his legs by hand, they sat on the tray in his lap. He could see them but not feel them. He felt however nearly constant pins and needles from his belly button down. Which was about the point where Bellatrix Lestrange placed her wand on his back when she whispered the curse. He had felt blinding, soul crushing pain, and nothing beyond that point besides pins and needles. The dark lord had insisted his spine be stabilized, but nothing else. They wanted him to suffer not die. 

The truth was they wanted him to die, but not by their own hands and they wanted him to suffer. That’s the reason only bonded Alphas and Omegas who were bonded to the other were allowed near him. Beta bonds are never as strong as a Alpha/Omega bonds, and they might Snap with his desperate need for a bond. His body was crying out for someone anyone to save it. Even though he voiced no such thing. And voiced the opposite. He begged them to kill him, in the cell in some unknown manor he spend four days in. Force fed stale bread and water. He was to suffer until they figured out what to do with him. That is how he ended up in that Alley in the rain. Where they hoped no one would find him. He wished the same, unless somehow Regulus was alive. 

When James Potter of all people found him, in his horrible state he thought it was Regulus. He hoped that it was Regulus. But instead it was just Potter, who was mourning the loss of Lily and their son. 

Severus hadn’t known his once best friend had died. Nor that she had been sick or pregnant. He so wanted to make things right with Lily, and yet now he would never get the chance. He was taking her place, and he thought for a second she was taking his. She should be alive and so should her son be. He should be dead! He should be with Regulus. He would happily trade his and his fetuses souls for hers and her son. 

And it would bring his now Alpha out of his depression. And like any good Omega Severus’s main goal in life was to make his Alpha happy. James may voice the desire for Severus to live, but he was sure the man would drop him, and the unborn things like a hot potato if he could have Lily and their son back. 

James saw Severus’s situation with the bowl and tea cup. He took the three items to kitchen sink. When he walked back to Severus the Omega’s head was turned away from him. James took in the sight, Severus was blushing beat red. Trying as if to hide it with his long black hair. There was a time that James would of mocked him such a thing. A time where he even stripped the then boy naked. Not realizing what he was. Truth was he shouldn’t of done it either way. Omega or not it was wrong. Severus Slytherin or not was still a person. James had grown a lot since his Hogwarts days, he hoped to show his Omega that, and may just maybe they could grow to care for each other.

“Severus I am going to pick you up and take you to bed.”

“Can’t you do it here?”

“No Severus we have to stay knotted the full time for the bond. It may be up to a hour, and it’s not going to be comfortable on the couch for that long for either of us. Will you let me carry you?”

Severus nodded. 

James turned the fire off with a quick spell as well as most of the candles. The omega shivered. The blankets that covered him were pulled down and set aside. James carried him like a bride. Arm supporting his thin narrow back, and one under his colt like legs. Severus leaned his head onto James’s naked shoulder. The Alpha whispered “let me take care of you, you don’t have to love me, you don’t have to like me, but let me care for you.”

Severus whispered “okay”.

”Think of Regulus, I don’t care if you do, he would want you to try to live.”

Severus spoke his voice cracking with pain barely able to say the words he knew James needed to hear “I don’t mind if you think of Lily, I know you will always love her. I didn’t ever love her that way. I know I can’t replace her and if I could give her back to you...”

”Severus please just stop. I know you are only trying to help, but just don’t. I can’t think of Lily, it’s far too painful to.”

”Just as it’s far too painful for me to think of Regulus, James.” 

The two people who longed for those since taken by death said nothing to each other. James without realizing it made his way to the master bedroom. He hadn’t been in here since he caught Remus changing the bedding. And he had lost it, falling to the floor screaming. Even going to the point of threatening one of his closest friends. Sirius had stopped him from doing anything. He had moved James’s things to a spare bedroom, with only a twin bed. That is where he had slept for the last three months, avoiding the master bedroom, but unwilling to shut the door.

For three months James had lived with the ghost of his dead wife and son. They weren’t real ghosts, they had chosen to go on. James’s only ghosts were his memories. He was like the beast from Lily’s favorite fairy tale. But he had no talking cups or tea pots. No servants trapped as objects. And he was still very much visibly human. But he had locked himself away in this home just like the beast had locked himself away in his castle. He avoided the master bedroom and the nursery where his son had only spent one night. He slept on the floor that night. Knowing the time he would have with his prefect Harry would be very short. That room was shut up, left exactly the same as it was the morning Harry his sweet little Harry had taken his last breath.

He didn’t know what he would do when Snape’s children were born. Maybe he would just close up the house, move his new family somewhere else and visit the last place Harry and Lily had been alive. That felt uncomfortable, but so did ridding the house of Harry’s things, reusing them, or continue living with ghosts. He had time to think about that later, he needed to confirm the bond with Severus. That was the most important thing in this moment. 

He laid the man on his side of the bed, and then pulled the blanket down on what was to be Severus’s side. He picked up the man again who was shocked, and let out a small yelp. He then pulled all the covers down. 

“Want to do this with candles on or off?” He asked Snape. 

Who responded “On, I would prefer then on. I don’t do well in the dark after something I don’t want to talk about. I would rather know it’s you.”

James spelled the candles on, but dim. He stripped off his jeans along with his boxers. He tried for a second to think of Lily her red hair, her small pale breasts, her thighs and her... but he was snapped to a fantasy he hadn’t had in years. Not since he assumed Snape was a Beta or Alpha. They were in potion’s class, but Severus was naked besides his Slytherin tie. He was working on a potion leaned over the table black hair over one of his shoulders. 

He hears James come in, and places a charm on the potion. 

James wants bite that shoulder. He wants it to bleed, he wants to claim Snape as his for all to see. 

Snape says “I was waiting for you so I decided to get some work done, Jamie....”

He says “you know the rules.”

James snaps out of it. If doesn’t stop he will finish to soon. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked the other man. Who nods in the candle light lost in his own thoughts it seems. James spreads those pale thighs. They do not move when places them. He knows Severus can’t feel it, but he runs a finger on one on the inside. He leans over his mate, stealing a kiss from those thin pale now extremely bitten lips. Severus allows his tongue entrance. Neither will admit it, but they both crave human contact. Since Regulus left the Omega hadn’t felt a kind touch since James found him. 

James’s friends avoid touching him for fear they would upset the alpha. Not realizing that he needed exactly what they were avoiding. 

James’s finger slipped inside of Severus he was wet thank Merlin. Whatever he had thought about had done the job, so this wouldn’t be painful. He wasn’t tight, but he wasn’t loose. He simply felt like someone who had sex before. Which James was grateful for. He didn’t know what he do if he was taking someone’s first time when they clearly didn’t love each other. But then Merlin the whole reason they had to do this was because the very visible reason that Snape had sex before. 

They both shut their eyes as James entered him. Unlike a female omega or beta Snape had a prick. It was small, soft which wasn’t the norm considering how wet he was. Then James felt it. It was a pureblood tradition, to remove the balls of a male omega once he presented. But the practice had gone out of style. Snape was a halfblood with a muggle father to boot, from what Lily had said. 

When he would complain about her former friend after they had married most of the time she ignored it. Until he called the man a pureblood snob. She slapped James for that comment, better yet she back handed him. “Don’t talk about things you know nothing about” she had hissed. He had pushed for a response terrified his mate was cheating on him. 

She confirmed later that night after a pint at the bar, she was not in fact cheating on him with Snape. That they had known each other as children. That Snape was her closest friend for many years. That his father was just as muggle as her parents, but Mr Snape was abusive to his son, and wife. That he broke something in Snape’s pureblood mother. In someways Lily said it would of been kinder just to kill the woman, but the man never did. That he had tried to beat the magic out of his son, and something that no matter what she would not talk about. 

The likely thing was that his son was omega, but why in Merlin’s name had Severus been castrated. Muggles didn’t do it! He thought for a second purebloods believed it made omegas get pregnant easier. And Snape had married Regulus. 

Everything clicked into place. Severus must have really loved Regulus. Truly, wholeheartedly, with every fiber of his being. To allow that to be done to himself. James couldn’t imagine it. But then he thought for a second your a Alpha he’s a Omega. They don’t exactly see those things as you do. 

Severus’s long fingered hand trailed up and down James’s back. He was whimpering. James opened his eyes to watch him. He was going for slow deep slow thrusts, trying to find the other man’s spot that would help him cum. It would make the knotting easier. 

Just a slightly different angle, and Severus howled black eyes opening wide, “please” he cried. There it was he found it. Two, three, and four directly to that spot. Severus’s body when rigid, he silently screamed. James felt himself knotting his mate, his omega tying together in the present, but also so long as they both should live. Bonding and therefore mating were a marriage in itself. Wizards and muggles choose to marry, because well betas were the most common type of second sex. They didn’t bond and mate the same way in those relationships. So they the majority came up with the idea of marriage.

Alpha/Omega, Alpha/Beta, and Omega/Beta relationships simply followed suit. A beta was the the position of sorts in of their assigned sex or gender identity, the latter if they did not match up. Unless the pairing was a same sex pairing and then it was generally up to the couple themselves who was the one to birth their children. But rule of thumb was you needed a Alpha to bite to create a bond without a gland, or a omega with a gland to bite into. Betas in beta relationships had neither, so marriage became their “biting the gland”. And everyone took to the idea.

James didn’t know if he and Severus would ever have a wedding. He did at least plan to get himself a ring to make it clear he was bonded. He planned to ask Severus to wear one, though he wouldn’t push the issue. Turning his neck, or pulling down his shirt would tell people he was bonded. But some Betas didn’t take a hint and that’s where a ring did some good.

Severus snapped James out of his mental ramblings, with a soft nearly fearful question so unlike the Snape who he knew in school. What had this man been through to turn him from someone who seemed to pass as a Beta to the typical meek Omega? Maybe the pregnancy, but Lily had kept her fire during hers. She had no problem telling him like it was. Then what was it? “My upper back hurts, is there a way for you not to be on top of me?” James hooked a arm around Severus’s back as he flipped them, so he was under the far lighter, smaller man, who flopped on James like a sack of potatoes. The man didn’t have the muscle tone in his arms and trunk (the pregnancy wasn’t helping matters), to compensate for his injury. 

James spoke “tell me something I don’t know about you and I will do the same, back and forth, we are going to be here a while. We can also ask something about the other person they have to answer. And I would rather not spend it locked in my own head.”

Severus said “me neither. Locked in my own head I mean. I will go first. I had a pet, a cat at Hogwarts. Edith. She had to stay there over Summer break. Hagrid took care of her for me. She was black, small, timid. But she grew to like people who gave her space.”

Severus then asked James “did you know you were an alpha before you presented?”

James was puzzled by the pet comment, cats easily lived in their teens. So what happened to Edith? Thinking about his own cat Simon, who he had forgotten to feed tonight. Once they were separate he would go feed the rather large orange and white beast. 

“No I did not know I was a Alpha before I presented. My parents were actually an Beta/Omega pairing so it was unlikely for me to be a Alpha.”

Then he thought for a second. “I don’t really like owls they kind of creep me out.” That comment causing the other man to laugh and smile. James thought he looked so much better when he smiled. Very human, and so much younger. “Did you know you were going to be a Omega?”

Severus rested his head on James’s shoulder, “I did. I just always was drawn to Alphas, wanting to please them. I tried desperately to please you when we first met. You acted like a pureblood, and my mum had told me that purebloods tended to be in Slytherin. Then how you acted I gave up on pleasing you I was a rather unhappy child. I thought if people weren’t going to be nice to me, then I wouldn’t be nice to them. Don’t worry James that didn’t start with you it started long before I ever met you.” Severus’s pale face blushes beat red. Why did he share that with Potter? Because they are mated. Because they are bonded. Because to make Severus look bad now, reflects upon James himself. “I wanted to own a mail order potions shop one day, I want to focus on healing potions. Though I doubt that will ever happen now. Why did you become a Auror?” 

James knew the man was trying to deflect off of the information he shared. Though he promised himself Severus Snape may never have the wonder bond told about in fairy tales, but if it was possible he would have his mail order potion’s business. 

He said “I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to put the bad wizards away. Lily said I was stupid when I said that. Like a muggle child playing cops and robbers. I do it now because what else can I do? My OWLS scores were okay, my NEWT scores got me into the Auror program. When things settle down and become easier I may choose something else. I might even help you with that potion’s business.”

Severus huffed “I remember you in potions let’s not end up blowing up a lab, it would loose a ton of business if we did. Am I making things harder?”

James shook his head, and said “Severus no. Things were bad before you. Things are, they just are. When Lily got sick, and then she became pregnant, and then I lost them....” His hazel eyes shut before he continued. “Severus you are not a burden. I may not have exactly wanted to bond with you, but fate decided we needed each other. The Alpha without a Omega and....”

Severus finished the sentence “Omega without without a Alpha. And we knew each other. We as much as teenagers wouldn’t admit it? We are compatible. If we act like people instead of animals we can get along okay.”

James laughed raising his black eyebrows “we kind of have to don’t we? We are truly tied together. No where we can get away from each other, now. And it’s still my turn. My grandmother was in Slytherin she’s from the Black family. What happened to Edith Severus?”

Severus sighed blinking, wondering if he should be honest “when Regulus disappeared I dropped her off at Hagrid’s. I didn’t explain the reason. Rumors said Regulus betrayed the.... you know who. I knew they would be coming for me. I joined them because it was the only way to get Walburga Black to agree to Regulus and I bonding, and then marrying. We had a unmarked bond since he presented at fifteen, and I was sixteen. I presented at thirteen. He promised himself to me if he was a Beta or Alpha when he twelve, when I presented. If we didn’t do what she said because we had already spent my heats and his ruts together, she would kill us both! The mark was going to make me equal to them, and it would rid Regulus of his sin of laying with a halfblood, with a muggle father!”

Severus was wheezing, crying, both in the fact he just confessed to a Auror, but also for the loss of Regulus. The man who when he was just a boy promised the scared thirteen year old during his first heat he would bond with him when he presented. The boy with those grey eyes who didn’t care that Severus was a poor boy from Cokeworth.

That he had a muggle father. That he was ugly. That his nose was large. That his hair only wasn’t greasy on this one freaking shampoo his mother surely couldn’t afford. So Regulus got it for him. And had all these years. That he was the boy whose only other friends were Lily Evans and the cat Hagrid had given him when he realized the scared little first year wandered the castle at night due to nightmares. 

The stubborn little half keazle woke him before they got to that point. Severus longed for Edith. She was the only thing he had left from his time with Regulus. The death eaters had told him in a mocking tone that they had burned their little cottage in the country to the ground. 

The crib Regulus had gotten for the babies, their books, their photos, who knows if even Kreacher made it out alive! The house elf hadn’t come back after Regulus died or disappeared. Truly it was death. Severus knew it when he woke up to no mark on his bond gland. That’s when the rumors started. That’s when he sent Edith to Hagrid and that’s when he thought he was going to face his own death. Instead he ended up half a broken Omega who couldn’t feel his legs. 

James was nearly shouting at Severus. “Snap out of it Snape! Snap out of it Severus! Severus I am right here! Nothing is going to hurt you as long as I am here. God damn it what did those fucking monsters do to you?”

Severus blinked out of his half flashback half memory. “I don’t wanna play that game anymore James” his voice nearly childlike. “Can you get Edith from Hagrid if you don’t mind having her around? I miss her so much. She’s the only thing I have.” The Omega started to cry. “I am sorry I know she’s just a cat forgive me.”

James grabbed his omega’s face “before I call the mediwitch tomorrow I will go get your cat. I have been meaning to get Simon, I guess he’s my cat now, a friend. Once my knot releases I may send Hagrid a letter to see if he can drop her off in the morning. Which reminds me I need to feed Simon.”

Severus asked “by owl? I thought you don’t like them?”

James answered “Wendy was Lily’s. I grew to like her to a point after.... She reminds me of Lily. Like she’s watching over me. When you meet her you will see.” James kissed Severus’s forehead. “Go to sleep, Sev. When I can I will slip out of you and lay you on your back. You need your rest. Surely you haven’t gotten much sleep....”

”Lily use to call me Sev...” Severus yawned.

James said “I remember. And sometimes once in a blue moon she would talk about your childhood’s together. Night Severus I will be here when you wake up with Edith. You will also meet Simon and maybe Wendy if she isn’t in one of her moods.”

Severus fell asleep quickly once he stopped trying to fight it. The bonding and yes the sex, possibly even the food had helped. His skin less sickly, though his bones still looked as if they could cut through his skin. James thought to himself they both needed to see a God damn mind healer. They were a pair weren’t they? The crazy alpha and omega. 

James slipped out of Severus. Laying the man on his back, his head and neck supported. His feet were at a odd angle frozen unable to move easily. His knees were turned in, the man needed to bathe, which he couldn’t do himself easily without changes to James’s bath. He going have to get muggle things. Wizards rarely became disabled. And if they did? It was like Moody. This wasn’t like Moody. He tucked the covers around his mate. Tucking his black hair behind his ears. It wasn’t greasy, but that could be from being in the rain. Neither was his skin when James kissed it. 

He kissed his forehead. Went to feed Simon, and owl Hagrid. He needed to firecall Madam Pomfrey as well. Surely she would understand why it had to be made now? Maybe she would have a treatment or at least some suggestions. The spell was likely dark if it came from a Death eater, so treatment was unlikely. His mate likely would spend the rest of his life paralyzed from the waist down. 

James most likely would even once they got all the muggle things have to help him at least some with basic needs. And he was okay with that. Severus gave him a reason to not lay down and die. A reason to live, and right now that was more important than love. 


	2. Second by second and minute by minute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hagrid brings Edith back to Severus.  
Madam Pomfrey says “muggles have us beat on this stuff”.  
Severus gets a bit of freedom.  
James says to Severus in a nice way you have to keep going.  
And visitors. Of the relatively good kind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Severus’s pain with something is my own. I have done that. I have also had to sit in it, in a ER bed because a nurse didn’t give me a working call button. I will not shy away from disability, I will not make it pretty for you. Because it’s not pretty for me. If you aren’t able to deal with reading about a disabled person? I suggest not to continue reading.  
Severus is going to learn how to take care of himself and function with his disability. I am actively researching his disability and using my own experiences as a part time wheelchair user.

* * *

James heard his front door bell ring at what he was assuming was seven am. Severus slept at his side naked, and slightly snoring softly. He found it rather cute. He thought to himself when did he start finding Snape cute? Was it when they bonded or was it when they were 12 before presenting (or what he thought Severus presented as) ruin that. Alphas don’t mate with Alphas it just didn’t happen. The door bell rang again, okay not some muggle likely a wizard.... but they generally used the Floo.... HAGRID his mind shouted at him. Remembering his late night letter to the half giant, and the nip Wendy gave him for daring to wake her. 

Throwing on a pair of sweats Remus and Sirius had forgotten in one the draws he ran to the front door. If they were going to start sleeping in the master bedroom he needed to move his things back inside of it. Of course they were! Surely it would do Severus no good to be stuffed like a sardine in the twin bed with him. He flung the door open and greeted the half giant. Who greeted him, and then said “where’s Severus? Surely he hasn’t given his cat to you? Your not hurting Edith on my watch!”

Thinking for a second Hagrid would fit in the house alright they did have high ceilings in the living room. “Come in Hagrid you can see Severus for yourself. And talk to him if he’s awake.”

Hagrid narrowed his eyes “what do mean if he’s awake that boy loved Regulus Black more than life itself. Their bond was one strongest I had ever seen. You can’t go stealing other people’s Omega’s because what happened to Lily. It just isn’t right James.”

James said nothing hoping Severus would be awake. It was going to fix this situation if he was. Thankfully he was.

Severus had struggled to get himself in a sitting position. It wasn’t much but it was something, when he heard Hagrid’s voice. Edith! His mind shouted. Not bothering to hear what was said. 

“Hagrid now see? Severus can explain more himself, if you want. I need to fix breakfast and double check when Poppy is coming by to check on Severus.” The half giant nodded. In his sack was Edith who stuck her black head out. She ignored the giant’s requests to stay put, leaping from the bag onto the bed. She landed on the bed; then slowly walked to where she wanted to be. Purring and curling into Severus’s upper thigh. Severus was her person, she was not just his cat. 

His hand fell to her back and he started to pet her. He needed her for this conversation. She was his comfort, and had been since the day she had decided the scared eleven year old who kept following her around his room was worth her time. She may be half keazle, but she still was a cat.

She had been there for him when he presented as a Omega, his first heat she was the one to it seems get Regulus to find him, she had been there sleeping on his pillow every time the marauders bullied him, every nasty letter from his broken mother, when he had called Lily that horrible name and begged for her forgiveness. Edith was closer to him than anyone living or dead. 

Hagrid decided he had given the duo enough time to reconnect when he spoke. “Severus what happened? What did you send Edith to live with me? Why are you in Potter’s bed? Why didn’t you answer the door? Where is Regulus?! 

Severus’s hand stills on Edith’s back and he spoke “Hagrid Regulus is dead. You know who killed him. Nearly killed me. I knew they would be coming for me, and in my mourning state I wanted them to find me. James found me, nearly dead. He didn’t mean to, but he bonded with me. Instinct. Nothing more. You knew how we were in school. That heightened type of emotion tends to creat lifetime bonds. Bonds don’t care if they are good or bad, they just stick more with strong emotion good or bad. More so when it’s a Alpha/Omega bond. They also-the death eaters left me paralyzed from about the waist down. I need medical attention and James is going to help me get it, but being a dark spell....”

Hagrid finished for the boy he watched grow into a man “your not expecting good news Severus are you?”

Severus shook his head. “Thank you for bringing Edith to me, old friend. Thank you for caring for her in my time of need. Thank you for caring about me.... a piece of Regulus may live on if my pregnancy goes well.” Severus said with a sad smile. He wanted Regulus back not a piece of him living on. 

Hagrid said “Severus he was so happy that you were pregnant I know you two have been trying for a few years now. I know you both got into somethings you don’t want to talk about. But I want to let you know. I will help you whenever I can. Regulus had always been rather good with the Thestrals and so were you. I hope he’s at peace wherever he is.” The half giant started to cry, loudly.

Severus wished he wasn’t naked under the blankets, but most of all he wished he could stand and hug someone who clearly cared for him and Regulus. Instead he had to be there like some wretched waste of freaking space, as the half giant cried over Severus’s dead mate and husband. Severus decided to show Hagrid something that would cheer him up. 

“Hey friend look at my left arm.”

Hagrid did as he was told expecting the mark that he knew to lay to be faded and that would be good news. Instead all he saw was Severus’s own pale skin. 

The half giant shouted “Severus how? What did it? How did you?”

He spoke calmly “I didn’t do anything, they didn’t want a dead pregnant Omega connected to their little group, so he removed the mark. My legs for my freedom. Or maybe my freedom for my soul is a better way to put it. I just don’t want to make a big deal out this okay? They might hurt me, James or the babies if they found out all of what’s gone on okay? Don’t share this at the Hog’s head inn? Got it?”

Hagrid nodded “ I don’t even know what your talking about? I haven’t seen Severus Snape in years.” He smiled and said “gotta get back to Hogwarts, the work doesn’t do itself, but it was good to see you doing, well getting along and to give your cat back. She’s not happy in my hut away from you. Edith purred loudly as if to answer his statement with a yes. 

Once Hagrid left James came back into the bedroom with a pile of clothes. He said “you can pick somethings from this until we can get you clothes of your own. You can have that wool cloak from last night as well. Your robes are going to be mended by my house elf nana. She’s fairly good at stuff like that.” 

Severus picked through the piles, but stopped and asked “how much of it can I have James?”

”As much as you want Severus, then the less we have to get from stores. Those are all brand new or pretty brand new. Mostly gifts that didn’t fit that for whatever reason I kept, or things that I didn’t really like. Sev I am the kind of guy to wear things until they basically fall apart. Sirius and Lily never agreed with that. Sirius still doesn’t.”

Severus set aside all the jeans they seemed about the right length and size for him. As did the black, brown and grey slacks. They would work until he got to large and had to consider Omega clothes. He gagged at the thought. He wasn’t much into clothing anymore than James. But he hated Omega clothing. Bright colors, prints and things that looked like dresses. Ick. He was a Omega, but he was still very much a man. He might as well just wear sweats and large tee shirts when those times came. 

He ran his fingers over the button down shirts. Black, maroon, navy blue, emerald green, sliver, charcoal grey, and chestnut brown. Many still had there tags on them. They all were the softest cotton he had ever felt. Potter didn’t want these? The man was odd. He took off the tags, and smiled. Boxers were brand new. Socks again brand new. What in the hell? The shoes were something he had always wanted. Black colored leather, hard leather soles, laces, buttery soft, stitching details. And he still had his black boots.

Then the pajamas. Flannel night shirts, no pants. He vaguely remember wait James didn’t like night shirts that was Severus’s thing. And two dressing gowns. One of flannel in navy blue, and in emerald, Slytherin like green in silk. This was the type of the Omega clothes that Severus liked. Not feminine, but not masculine either. Surely this wasn’t something of James. This had tags on it. Brand new tags. James got him clothing, but claimed it was his castoffs. Severus was going to keep his mouth shut. Let the man claim he didn’t buy Severus things if he wanted. Severus was going to enjoy the clothing bought with him in mind.

He licked his lips, and called for James. The clothes were set aside on the far edge of the bed, when he felt. No! No! He did not what he thinks he did. He’s not a toddler. Not a child! He’s a grown fucking man! He laid his hand on the blanket between his legs. “Fuck, Fuck, Fucking hell!” He hissed. James was going to see this and he was going to laugh at him. Surely he couldn’t changed that much in a few years? 

James came long black waves of hair in his eyes, glasses resting on his thin nose, he says “good you like them all?” 

Severus nods, and does not look James in the eyes. 

“So that’s Edith?”

Severus again nods. 

“Did Edith take your tongue out? What’s wrong you usually snarking at me or at least saying something Severus to me”.

Severus simply points to the wet spot on the bed. Then the words tumble out like a storm, “I didn’t mean it James! I swear. I promise! I didn’t even feel like I had to! And then it just did. Black eyes were wet with un fallen tears. I feel so useless. Even children don’t do this when reach some random age. I never did this!” Severus cringes. 

James places a hand on Severus's upper back “Severus Snape I am not and I repeat not made at you. Things like this sometimes happen with what happened to you. That’s why Poppy is coming in a hour in a half. Enough time to get you cleaned up, dressed and on the couch in the living room. She says she’s got something she’s bringing that will make your life a little easier”.

James’s grabs out his wand spelling the sheets and blankets clean. He then finally asks Severus where his own wand is, he turns away hiding in his long hair. Hiding his clear shame from James. “.....They snapped it.... in front of me.”

Severus could hear his Ebony wand snapping in his face. The first thing Bellatrix had done was snap his spine. The pain was like being struck by lighting. Like being set on fire. Like being ripped apart and then stitched back together all at once. He at some point through the curse had vomited and pissed himself. She had kicked him back on the ground with her black leather laced high heeled boot as he was already falling like a stack of cards. 

“Not so special now little itty bitty Omega. Cousin isn’t here to protect your traitor ass. Your mother was a blood traitor and you have dirty blood, little Prince. The tiniest little Prince! Shall I strip you and let the death eaters take their turns? Let them see what Reggie wanted to have so badly? No? she said pouting, her head turning to the side, and fanning her long black lashes at him. If she wasn’t insane someone might of taken as her being sweet. That was soon lost when she grabbed his wand off the table outside of the cell and brought in. “Surely little Sevvie a mudblood loving, tiny little, son of a blood traitor has no need for a wand? And to boot you just a little helpless Omega whose up duff from anyone. How do we even know their cousins. They could be muggle or mudblood.” 

And then she put her boot on his stomach and snapped his wand over his face. He could still hear the ebony wood snapping. He could still see the dragon heart string core. It would of been kinder to kill him than snap his wand. That wand was his freedom, his lifeline his everything. 

She took his legs, his ability to not piss himself, his ability to brew, and walk, and everything. And then she took his magic from him. His freedom. His safety. His everything. 

James was shaking his arm “Sev, Sev come snap out of it.”

Severus said “please don’t use that word, please don’t use that word. I hate that word and that sound.” 

“Sev lets go get you cleaned up for Madam Pomfrey okay?” 

Severus nodded. Wrapping his arms around James’s neck laying his head on his broad shoulder. 

James wondered what he hated about the Slytherin as a child and teenager. Severus was far from classically beautiful or handsome, but the Omega was striking. Skin as pale as moon stone, and it glowed like one too. His eyes black as raven’s wings, sharp, yet caring yet also intelligent. To James it seemed at time like those eyes were of someone who had seen far many more years than Severus himself had lived. But the thing that most drew James to his mate was his scent. Lily of the valley, rosemary, mint and something that was just Severus, he smelled like heaven. 

If James admitted it, the little noises he made during sex, the whines, the whimpers, the cries. The bits of happiness over the clothes James had bought him, which he didn’t mention were bought with Severus in mind. He ran out to get them extremely early in the morning. He had to think what the few times he had seen the man in, when he had seen him, but not spoken to him over the few years. Button down shirts, soft jeans and slacks. Cloaks though even in muggle clothing. Heavy black robes. Thinking of the past made him however think of Regulus and how happy Snape seemed to be with him. He had never in all their years of schooling see him truly happy. He didn’t think his face was capable of those movements. 

Lily sometimes made the other Omega smile. And Regulus did as well in school. But it was like there has a dark cloud hanging over him at Hogwarts. James wondered if he and his friends had been that cloud. For half a second he wondered and then he had to admit to himself he was. 

Lily always said people made their own choices. (In reference to Snape and his willingness to go dark.) But, and this was quite large actions of others could help or hurt. And James's and Sirius’s did nothing, but help push Snape to the dark. They weren’t the only reason by far, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t help cause it.

They were in the bathroom now. He sat the other man in the tube, groaning as he did so. Snape was a small man, thin now more than ever, but he unlike most male Omegas was tall. He was mostly limbs though.

Severus was still so tired, and he hadn’t yet eaten anything today. James turned on the water. Long black hair hung over Snape’s one eye. Who asked “can you hand me the soap and shampoo?”

James nodded and did so, “want to leave you to it?”

Severus laughed hotly not unlike the old Snape there was the streak of nasty little Slytherin boy he once was. After all he had been through James was happy to see it again, they may have broken Snape but they did not kill his spirit. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it before Potter, and will see it again.”

”Back to Potter are we?”

“We aren’t some old married couple, we aren’t two teenagers who fell in love and mated.... We both had that and lost it.” Snape stared at the sunshine yellow bathroom wall. Lily had insisted on painting it that color, saying it would brighten even the darkest days because everyone had to use the bathroom at least once a day.

”Severus Snape we both just lost someone who we loved dearly, but sometimes you just have to go on. Second by second. Minute by Minute. Hour by hour. And one day you might get to day by day. I have yet to reach that point myself. Seeing these yellow walls? They reminded me of the fact that Lily insisted we pain them this. That it would brighten even the darkest of days because everyone has to go to the bathroom at least once a day. The smell of tea reminds of her gruffly in the morning making it. The baby socks in a store window once sent me hiding in a loo screaming and crying. I know you feel the same about Regulus. Now do you need any help since I am to stay?” Said James his hazel eyes staring into black ones that seemed to want to turn down or away from him.

Severus seemed lost in his own thoughts, but they really weren’t even words, sounds and pictures, and emotions. He shook it off, like rain from a cloak. He asked “can you wash my hair? You don’t have to, but my hips are unsteady without gripping one side of the tube and if I don’t I worry I could fall. And it takes two hands to wash your hair.” 

Severus muttered “fucking Merlin, this is so stupid!” As he tried to wash his legs, unable to reach them, and unable to use his hands to bring it to him while holding the side of the tube. 

James asked “I help you if you don’t mind, Sev.”

Instead of a answer the wet soapy wash cloth hit James’s chest. 

After taking off the now wet and soapy shirt, he started at Severus’s pale small feet. They were narrow, with high arches. They were he rubbed circles on it as he washed. He knew Severus couldn’t feel this, but he could see it. James wanted him to see the care he was taking. He wanted desperately his mate to realize he did like him. They shared no love, and may never but they could at least care for one another.

Then the other foot and ankle. Then his knees, knobby, he really didn’t have much hair on his body beside his groin, his eyebrows, under his arms and on his head. Nothing for the moonstone like skin to hide under. Next his thighs. Then his small penis. Nothing when he touched that, wait no, Severus was pinching his eyes shut. 

“You can feel that?” James asked truly curious. 

“I am not faking Potter, and be rest assured if I was I wouldn’t of allowed you to bond with me.” Snapped Severus.

”I wasn’t suggesting you were Snape. Now can you feel this?” Rubbing the head of Severus’s small penis and then pinching it. The last part earned a moan. 

He stopped knowing he got his answer, but hoping Severus would explain. Because on two fronts this was odd. Severus could not feel anything below his belly button. Nothing. James learned that when he bumped the man’s foot into a doorway and Severus didn’t even notice. He still said sorry to the other man though. And secondly he was castrated. His balls had been cut off sometime between his 11th birthday and before he became pregnant. The scars, well James really couldn’t feel them so it likely had been years. 

“I already know you can feel your pussy, sweetie”, Severus couldn’t flinch knowing what James would do next. James slipped two fingers inside of him. Gods he could feel that. It was like someone stuck a live wire inside of him. Everything was so darn sensitive. He wasn’t in heat, he couldn’t be his pregnant belly rounded proved just that to anyone who dared to question why. To those who made jokes no one would ever want him? Someone did.

Regulus did, the proof right there his rounded pregnant belly. And now for what ever crazy reason James Potter did the bite on his neck proved that. Maybe the man was in Rut that would explain his strange behavior. Severus just wanted his stupid hair washed and it wasn’t like he do it himself.

He hissed “Potter”. Ignored. “James, please go take a potion I think your going into rut”. He whimpered then, as James brushed the spot inside of him. And then screamed when the man pressed down. Gods that felt like heaven and hell at once. “Please, Jamie my hair needs to be washed, and Madam Pomfrey will be here soon”.

James blinked, groaned and said “I will take the potion Severus, I don’t know what came over me. I haven’t had a rut since well six months ago. I was due for one around the time Lily died and it didn’t come.” He didn’t wait for a answer just ran out grabbed the potion and chugged it down. Gods it tasted horrid but it would buy them roughly about eight hours of clear headed, non rut filled mind. 

He went back to Severus sitting in the bath, clutching the side of the tub, his pale knuckles whiter than the rest of him if that was possible. His eyes were shut he washed the rest of himself besides his long hair, which was now sticking to his sweaty forehead and cheeks, they however were pink like rose petals. Stop thinking like this thought James. Wash his hair, dress him, get some food into him, and wait for him to be checked over! That’s it. Sex could wait. Rut could wait. James hated the part of himself that was so feral. The part of himself that was so alpha. Lily wouldn’t take it, she wouldn’t allow him to do things like Snape did. If he would of done those things to her? She would of went off on him. Severus seemed to like pleasing him, allowing him to control him. Severus was what you expected out of a well mannered wizard raised pureblood omega for the most part. 

How did his mate end up like this? Did Regulus send him off for training? Surely not the man was possessive of Snape down right pushy. Thinking back to one of those interactions he had seen about a year ago, as he watched from a coffee shop window someone who knows reached for Snape by the hair of all things. The person who had done so was shoved on the ground, wand in his face Regulus had looked like a black panther ready to rip the guy’s throat out. Severus stood there passive as a mouse. And then when the man got up and was shoved off like some common thief? Severus was shoved into a kneeling position and made to kiss Regulus's boots. And he did so without trouble, like he enjoyed doing so.

They then entered the coffee shop. Regulus ordered for them both not asking his companion what he wanted. Snape sat on the wooden floor at Regulus's feet. Being fed bits of food, and given his coffee or tea like a child unable to not spill their drink on themselves. And when he snarked at his mate? He ended up nose on the floor boots on his robe covered back. It was a sight to see. James had gotten hard from it that day. He ignored it. Repressed it. Said that’s just a Alpha and Beta. That’s just two weird ass Betas. The waitress had a nice ass that’s why he was hard. Lily had just come out of heat, that’s why he was hard. Not because the alpha across the room had his foot on his omega’s back. Not because that omega across the room was submissive in a way his own wife would never dream of being. A way a part of James he tried so desperately to repress wanted a omega like that. Wanted a little male omega who was submissive and let him do anything he wanted to him. One that had a tiny little penis and no balls. One who was in no way someone anyone would ever think nearly could of gone Beta. Someone who you could just read their body language and say that’s a omega. Never realizing that had been right in front of him from his first train ride to Hogwarts and he had ruined it. Looking back James thought to himself your a idiot Potter. A real dumbass fucking idiot.

Well now this dumbass idiot had that omega all to himself now. And he was the one who would have boots pinning him down one day, or something just as delicious. That little sweet passive Omega from that stupid misstep from the train now was in his bathroom waiting on him in the tub so he could wash his hair. Speaking of said omega he was staring at James now with his black eyes looking darn near edible. His little pink tongue licking his thin pale lips. James wanted to bite those lips. He wanted to suck on that tongue. He wanted that sexy little mouth on his cock. 

He groaned, a few seconds later his penis was soft, no sexually charged thoughts and his head totally clear, the potion had totally kicked in now so he grabbed the cup, and told Severus to close his eyes he was going to wash his hair now. And he did. One hand behind Severus’s pale neck helping him tilt back. The other dumping water on his black hair. 

Then he grabbed the shampoo, scrubbing at the strains of long black hair. Severus moaned at the feeling of his scalp being rubbed. He finished, then again filled the cup with water. He quietly told Severus to shut his eyes, hand supporting his mate’s neck, dumped the water on his soap covered inky black hair. Repeating the process a few times. He asked “do use conditioner?”

Severus shoot his head, wanting to tell the man it makes his hair greasy but fearing a snide comment. James drains the tub, waiting for it to be nearly empty and then lifts the other man out, setting him on the toilet. He grabs a plush white towel, and starts to dry his mate. 

“I can do it” groaned Severus. But enjoying the attention all the same, though not that he would admit to anyone. He missed this most when he lost Regulus. Sex was only one part of his relationship with the other man, his favorite part was feeling cared for. Not even loved simply cared for. Regulus loved him dearly, whole heartedly, with his very soul, but the part that picked Severus’s food out for him, told him what they would be doing, told him when to bathe, when to sleep, washed his hair. Sometimes even not allowing him to feed himself or hold his own glass. He basked in that form of control. That form of care. It felt like heaven to him. 

James finally got the courage to first say “when you can get around some we are going to Olivanders and getting you a new wand. You need it, for your safety and it will help with basic tasks.” Severus nodded. Looking down at the man on his knees shirtless as he dried Severus’s legs, then parted them. “Can I ask you a question?”

”That is a question”. 

James raised his eyebrows.

”Fine yes you may.”

”Why are you, why are, you know, you know um between your legs?” 

“Spit it out Potter it’s not a dirty word. There is nothing wrong with being as I am, either say it or I will not answer.” 

“Why are you castrated?”

”Because I believe it’s proper for a male Omega to be castrated. We still get hormones from our ovaries. We are more feminine featured with them gone. Childbirth can be easier, sex and even heats more enjoyable. For me at least I hated those things. Wanted them gone. My first few heats all they did was cause me pain. I was hard, unable to come. They throbbed terribly. And I personally got no enjoyment from cuming that way outside of heat. As soon as I was a confirmed Omega at thirteen, I pleaded with my mother to have them removed. After months of letters that school year she agreed. I had to suffer through three heats before she finally agreed to it.”

“ I was taken to a Omega clinic, given ample numbing, I was not tied down, like some people try to claim we are, those who don’t support the practice. They were shaved cleaned, cut off and I was stitched up. I felt better after a few days. The pain wasn’t great, but neither is any surgery. If my penis is touched I still feel it. Not as greatly if I would have kept those wretched things, but surely not all that different. I prefer penetration anyways. Cuming that way feels natural to me. The other way felt unnatural, wrong and on occasion sickening.”

“I would do it again James, every single time I would push my mother to allow it to be done. Do not be sad of the choices I made for my own body, for they were mine to make. My nature is rather more submissive than say Sirius Black is, or how some of Lily’s friends were or even Lily herself if she did not change over time. As she did present so late.”

Severus held his small penis in his hand, cupping it. “The idea of ever putting this inside of someone is something I find as gross as having someone piss on me. It’s not my thing. Not what I want out of sex, and not my kink.” He let go of it. “Now that’s out of the way anymore questions? Want to know if I like it up the ass? If I like sucking cock? If I like being tied up?” 

James shrugged his shoulders. Shocked, but finding the idea Snape wanted it done to himself sexy. It was his choice to be castrated. He wanted it. Not some crazy pureblood forcing it on him. Parent or Alpha. 

“I don’t like it up the ass, I do like sucking cock, and I enjoy at times rope play, though not when I am pregnant for the latter” said Severus cocking his head to the side. 

Severus smiled at the way James looked at his naked flesh. He missed Regulus terribly, like a burning soul eating passion, but sexual touches helped. Sex last night helped a ton. He was actually hungry now, something that had not been the case the night before. And soon he may have a way to get around himself and a wand, not his old one, but one that was new and it still would be his. 

There was a saying Omegas cannot live on bread, wine or religion alone. They needed sec to function. Their soul reason for existing was to have sex with their (usually) alpha and have babes. Severus enjoyed that role. He did one day want a small business, but it was to be secondary to home, family and his mate. It was suppose to be with Regulus, but fate had disagreed.

He may not love James Potter, but he had seen far worse bonded mates, those worse were usually picked by their parents. Matings were best let to choosing either before heats his and Regulus’s or in cases like his and James’s nature itself deciding. For a second he thought what led his mother into a muggle’s arms, but he crushed it down. Now was not the time to think of the past or his mother. 

“Let’s go get you dressed, now Severus any idea of what it is you want to wear?” Asked James, and he picked the other man up in his arms. Rubbing his mate’s back as he did so. 

Severus nodded and spoke “slacks, the black ones, they should be easier to get on. The blue button down shirt, and my boots. The other things don’t matter what color.” James sat his bonded on the bed. Grabbing first boxers. Telling Severus to place his hands on his shoulder as he kneeled. This helped when he had to lift the man’s hips. Next was shirt which Severus did himself. Then socks which James would not allow him to do himself. Though truly not that he minded. It felt lovely to be taken care of. Then it was pants those were a struggle. Trousers were easier than jeans, looser, softer fabric, but it still wasn’t easy getting them on someone who from the waist down was functionally dead weight. Severus groaned in frustration. Something as simple as putting on damn pants shouldn’t be this hard!

When that was finished Severus laid back down of the bed he was tired from the bath and dressing. Things that took a few minutes took triple the time to do now. And that was with the help of a man who it seemed was functionally his now full time caregiver. 

After a few minutes James picked him up, with the answer “now let’s get some food into you.” Severus was placed softly on the couch. He needed a hair brush if he didn’t brush his hair it would mat. “Can I have a hair brush? I don’t want my hair to mat. It’s not a comfortable feeling.” Said Severus to James. 

Hair brush that Lily had bought but never used was handed to Severus. The handle was a sparkly purple but it would do the job. He got to work on his hair as James made what was technically lunch. Severus finished his hair and set the brush aside. At least he could do some basic things for himself. Ever now grateful the crazy witch didn’t break his neck, though in all likelihood if she would if he would have died. And what fun was there in that?

A sandwich and tea cup was put on a tray in Severus’s lap. James ate his own sandwich and drank his tea. He stayed standing, out of sheer habit, Auror lunch breaks were quick and simple. Once done Severus places everything on the coffee table and shut his eyes. Madam Pomfrey would be here in a few minutes. James took the dishes to the kitchen and did them and the last night dishes. Once done he went back into the small living room and sat down next to his mate. There was nothing left to do, but wait. He took his mate’s hand in his own and squeezed it. Trying to comfort the other man. They were a strange pair weren’t they? He thought to himself.

Madam Pomfrey then came through the floo. Depositing her bags on the floor and dusting her dress and apron off, shaking the dust out of her curly grey hair. “Well hello Mr Potter and Mr.... Black I suppose? Or is it Potter now?”

James totally had forgotten that surely Severus had changed his name from Snape to Black when he married Regulus. That for sure was a reason to push for marriage, one day. If it was Snape it could be explained that Severus was simply attached to his family name, but Black well that was slightly trickier. Severus spoke in his monotoned voice, “Severus is best, my situation is rather odd. Since Regulus died and I am mated with James. Legally I am still a Black, though I am now mated to a Potter. When things settle down James and I will deal with such things” he pinched his nose, and rolled his black eyes. 

“That is understandable” said the mediwitch. “Let’s get straight to it then shall we Severus? James explained a dark curse was used on you. You have little to no feeling from your belly button to waist down?” Severus nods and she continues. “Any bladder or bowl issues?” 

Severus hides his face, but says “yes I do not feel the urge to piss and do not know that I am going to until it happens. My bowels I haven’t yet gone. Though I do suspect the same issues with those as well.” 

She speaks “I will provide you with catheters and explain how to use them. Muggles get stuff like this best, as you soon will learn. Spinal cord injuries, are something they have learned to deal with better than witches or wizards. And I will explain how to deal with your bowels. Any sexual feelings?”

Severus nods blushing a deep shade of red. Thinking back to the bath tub situation.

“Good it’s likely incomplete then. I will double check what I suspect and then check the pregnancy and then give you what I have you and more suggestions.” She waves her wand over him, muttering the spell. She sighs her face pinching. Saying at least they stabilized it, so it can’t get worse.” Her wand is twisted between her small wrinkled pale fingers. It’s a light wood wand. Medium sized, but fits well in her hands, and Severus is jealous that the witch has a wand and he does not. Soon he thinks soon he will have another. This evening he would have another wand of his own. 

The witch spoke “I expected T 10 incomplete. Which explains why you have lost bowel and bladder control. Why you still have some sexual function, being a Omega your magic protected that most of all, it explains no feeling in your legs, no control of them” she pointed at his oddly twisted socked feet. “Temperature control may be affected” she noticed his shivering and tossed a throw blanket at him. “Trunk control is as well seems slightly affected” noticing how he struggled to hold himself up. “The babies however are two extremely healthy little boys. Your magic Severus protected them. Though I wouldn’t doubt they are true fighters like their parents. Dumbledore found Regulus’s body, it seems he betrayed you know who. And drowned trying to do sometime Dumbledore will not disclose to me. He is however pressing for him to be given a order of Merlin so I do believe whatever it was, at least was important.”

Severus started to cry not for the news of his own disability, not even because his last piece of Regulus was healthy, but because his husband, his former mate, was truly dead. “Will he let me see the body? Will he let me say goodbye?” 

She says “yes Severus, you were his mate of course you can. I am just in the process of cleaning him up a bit, and preparing his body. Please let me finish doing so, and I will let you see him. The Blacks want him buried in the family cemetery, but you are his husband, it’s your choice.” 

Severus groaned “Regulus hated it, he begged me never to let them bury him there. But I don’t know where else.”

James interjected “I have a few plots near where Lily and Harry are. I inherited them from my parents. My grandmother, his great aunt is also buried their. It’s close enough Severus you could still visit regularly, but it’s location in the town is somewhere you actively have to choose to visit it.”

Severus said “yes that will do, that’s where I want him buried Poppy. Do I need to arrange anything else?”

Poppy said in her soft caring voice “child no it will all be taken care of, your job is to take of yourself, your children, and your mate now. Let me handle Regulus. It’s part of my job in cases such as this. If you know what type of casket he would prefer it would help, though.”

Severus rubbed the tears from his eyes “wicker Regulus believed in the old ways. Evergreen fabric wrappings he loved evergreens in winter”. The statement caused another flood tears. “I wish I still had my potions supplies. I need to get herbs to go with him. And something to represent the boys. And his family. And his house. And our marriage! Merlin I wish I could just get up and walk.” He snarled. Flashing between being upset and anger. 

James gave something he had seen other Alphas do. He grabbed onto the back of Severus’s long thin pale neck and told him “calm down.” It was like he put a spell on the Omega. He gapped his mouth like a fish and then shut up. He was now quiet as a mouse. 

“We will get those things after Madam Pomfrey is finished and only after we get you a new wand. You can present them to her when we do the vigil. And it’s settled, no talking back, no whining, no questioning, Severus understood?”

The Omega nodded, staring at his own oddly positioned socked feet. 

Madam Pomfrey pulled a few small items from her bag and then enlarged most things with spells. Most neither man could tell what they were. But Severus recognized the wheelchair. He smiled. This thing could be his legs for him. He reached to touch the seat cushion, it was soft and air filled. The frame was rigid and a glossy black. It looked so different than hospital type ones he had seen before, it looked smaller, lighter, stronger and borderline beautiful. 

Pomfrey spoke again “you will have to keep your eye out for pressure sores, if you get even a small on let me know immediately they get infected way to easily. This cushion should help with them. When sitting either stay in the chair, sit on something soft and supportive or remove the cushion and sit on it. Massages can help you even if you can’t feel most of it. When transferring keep the breaks locked”, she flicked the things hidden nearly under the seat. “There are handles for someone to help you if you need it.” She pointed them out by unfolding them. “But the more you push yourself the better you muscle tone will stay. This will help when someone cannot push you, and for transfers. Your pregnancy has altered your center of balance greatly, as has your injury, until you feel totally comfortable James will have to help you. The floors here are mostly flat and wooden. Which is a good thing. Carpets should be picked up. They don’t help wheelchair users. I am going to set you up with some muggle medical workers to teach you the skills you need Severus, muggles have us beat on this stuff as I said before.”

“This strap” showing it to him, “will allow you to apparate with your chair” the leather was Slytherin green like the small accents on some points of the chair. “It will keep it with you, as you do so. Flooing is no longer a option for you. I will give you a port key which will take you when needed to the Hogwarts infirmary. Headmaster Dumbledore agreed for me to make it for you.” It was a small leather necklace with a pendant that said “home is where you make it”. Sodding old fool thought Severus either Poppy or Dumbledore.

James took off his own port key necklace, he would wear the one that was Lily’s from now on until Severus or he got their own. He liked however the idea of Severus wearing something of his, and he was sure the other man would love a gift that was picked by Lily. “This will take you to our living room from anywhere”. Severus nodded putting both necklaces on. 

James placed the one that was formerly Lily’s on his own neck quickly the small Lily flower charm. Hiding it under his shirt he now wore. Long sleeved and red. Severus’s was a small glass vial with a note in it. The chain was leather. It said inside or said James had been told never opening it “for all time.” 

Madam Pomfrey when over other things she brought. The shower chair was white plastic, and was to make it so he didn’t need help every time to bathe. James did promise him sometimes he would be allowed to soak in the tub. 

Catheters which were explained and so on related to those things. 

Next was transfers, wheelchair was brought close brakes locked, Severus showed he understood how to move his own legs with his arms. She told James to get a hand on him just in case and Severus pulled himself in the wheelchair. 

He laughed soundly, loudly, the kind where you throw you head back and just enjoy. They both stared at him. He was being odd to them. After he got control of himself mostly he stared at them black eyes bright saying “I haven’t really moved under my own power in over a week. Then he unlocked the brakes, grabbing the push rims and grabbed a small cloth red that sat on the dining room table. He chucked it at James with a laugh. 

Who still didn’t get it, raising his black eyebrows saying “I don’t understand?” waving the cloth around, wondering why he was tossed it.

Severus smiled cocking his head to the side “the cell I was kept in had no door, I could not leave it. The alley I laid for three days in I could not drag myself to safety. I sat in the bed this morning unable to move without you carrying me. James I can get around now. If I want to see the garden or wash my face, or make myself a cup of tea I either have to push my chair to there or get in my chair and push myself where I want to go. To you this chair is a anchor tying me down, to me it’s like my legs. It’s my freedom my escape from the body which doesn’t work properly. I can get at least some of my life back.” He crossed his long arms over his chest, unable to remove the grin off his pale face. 

Madam Pomfrey smiled “Severus I am happy I could give you at least some of your freedom back. I wish wizards thought more of people with disabilities, with you know who you aren’t going to be my last disabled patient, and I fear for those that are students of Hogwarts.”

James nodded he finally understood what Severus was getting at. To him a wheelchair was a hindrance, but to Severus who for the day needed James to do everything for him it was a sign of freedom, a step as it were in the right direction.

Poppy told James to put the thing where they belong and told Severus “cloaks tend not to work well with wheelchairs, you are going to have to switch to muggle coats and jackets. Robes can be made with wheelchairs in mind, not so much for cloaks.” She waved gathering her bags and went back through the floo leaving the contact information of the squib physical therapist and occupational therapist she knew of. 

Severus groaned, at the comment about switching to muggle coats, from cloaks. It was such a minor thing, but it was something he liked, and would be sad to give up wearing something that he rather liked. They were his first taste of the wizarding world all those years ago. His mother had pinched her pennies working as seamstress to buy him one when he was ten years old for his birthday. It had been black as night, lined with Slytherin green fabric on the inside, the clasp was a sliver (likely fake he admitted to himself now) snake), the collar was made out of some black fur. They had to hide it from father lest he steal it, and sell it for money to waste at the bar, but Severus had loved to prance around like the little Prince heir he should of been in that cloak. 

James handed him a black wool coat, It was short enough not to get stuck in the wheels of his chair. “I know it’s not what you prefer, but if it helps that was a gift from Lily. I was never keen on it, but I would wear it to make her happy sometimes.”

Severus opened his mouth then shut it. Nothing he could say would help the man with what clearly still hurt. They both missed Lily terribly, but for Severus it had been years since they spoke. For him it was a old wound that was simply reopened. He no longer could think to himself at least she’s happy somewhere in the world even if it is with Potter. Lily was now six feet under, dead. She no longer existed on this plane of existence. And he it seems had taken her place, as odd as it sometimes seemed to him even now. In a prefect world James Potter would still be with the pretty female omega. She would still be alive and they would be raising their son together. 

But on the same token in a prefect world Severus wouldn’t be sitting in a wheelchair with paralyzed, with a dead husband, with children in his belly who would never know their father. Children who would only hear stories about the man who sired them. Their mother of sorts would be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Their step father would be a man who a piece his heart would always wish he could of had a life with his real family not his replacement that happened to fall into his lap by sheer accident, and a horrible thing being done to his now mate. 

It happened though. Regulus and Lily both were dead. Harry was dead. James needed a mate. Severus needed a Alpha. Severus’s children needed a real father, not just stories to be told about one. Even if he did die a hero like Poppy had said. They would not grow up with the label of death eater’s children on any front though. But because of that Severus hoped his children were not Slytherins like himself and their biological father. Who they would know was their father, he also hoped they didn’t turn out like their uncle and adopted father, who was going to raising them. He hoped his boys weren’t Gryffindors.

No Severus hoped his sons became respectful little Ravenclaws. Safe from Slytherin children of death eater’s scorn, but also not foolish Gryffindors. He could only hope. A mother had no say in who his children became. He could try with James to raise them to be good people. Like James it seemed had grown into, Severus was desperately trying to be and Regulus had died as. He did plan to name one after their father, he wanted a little Regulus as soon as he had found out he was pregnant. They had been trying since before they graduated Hogwarts a year a part. First time the had foregone the spell Severus has just turned seventeen. Regulus was sixteen. He wasn’t in heat so they wrote that month off as “not in heat” and how it wasn’t common to became pregnant outside of it. Then many heats passed no pregnancy. Then Severus graduated. Still none, they were doing this to avoid Severus being marked as a death eater to force the issue of marriage without the marking of them both. Nothing. 

They still tried after the marking because they also wanted children. They became pregnant in Regulus’s last year at Hogwarts, but quickly as it came it was gone. She they were told was lost in the third month of pregnancy. So they stopped trying for a few months to give Severus’s body a rest. They tried again after Regulus graduated. Nothing for two whole years. The next pregnancy didn’t even make it to three months. Within the first few weeks they lost a set of twins a boy and a girl. 

And just when they had nearly given up, after they stopped trying, but didn’t use the spells either Severus became pregnant. They didn’t loose the pregnancy either. He was now five months pregnant far past the worrying times, and yet Regulus would not be there to meet his children. 

To hold them, to kiss them, to get up at three am when they cried. To watch them go off to Hogwarts. To watch them graduate. To see them find their own mates. To see their own children born. But at least a piece of Regulus Black would live on in the little boys to be born in four months. Now that he wasn’t so depressed and drained locked in his own head Severus could see that.

He had so far to go, but he was stepping in the right direction. James helped. The wheelchair helped. Food helped. Being clean helped. Edith helped. The fact he was simply waiting for James to gather his things so they could side along aparate to get his new wand helped. But most of all? He now had a body to burry. Something to say goodbye to. He would hopefully get answers from Dumbledore. Whatever they may be. He would be able to soon visit his husband’s final resting place. He would have a place to one day take his sons to hear about their father. And that sure did make him want to live. He wanted to fight to live for Regulus, for their sons, for Lily, for Harry the little boy who never got a chance, for James his now mate, but most of all for himself he deserved if not a life with his first love a happy one at least. Yes he would be disabled. But he still was alive.

They the aparated to Diagon Alley his wheelchair staying with them because of the magical green strap. They landed harshly James didn’t even notice, but Severus could feel it in his bones. They were here though and that’s what mattered. James helped him by pushing the cobblestone streets made it nearly impossible for Severus to push himself. Thankfully the entrance to Olivanders had no steps, just a small rise that with James’s help Severus got over easily. The floors were wooden though cluttered. Severus bumped many things on the way to the counter. The old wizard greeted James but did not see Severus because he did not look down. 

“Mr Potter something happened to your wand? Mahogany 11 long good in transfigurations? It’s not the type to change masters so that’s not the reason your here.”

James said with a sigh “my wand is fine Severus’s on the other hand..... Needs a new wand”.

The old man said “Severus Snape yours was a Ebony 12 inches rather good in well defensive spells if I remember correctly. A odd one, just like it’s master.”

James growled, giving the old man a dirty look. 

“Mr Potter I mean no harm to your mate, he simply near blew out my windows with a couple of wands that didn’t agree with him. I do have some possibilities though of other wands that may work, I will grab them.” He did so.

”Oak 10 inches, unicorn hair”.

The books started to shake as soon as Severus touched it. It was snatched back by Olivander. “That will just not do”, he muttered. “Ah”, he grabbed a few down.

”Ebony like your first, dragon heart string, 9 inches.”

This one allowed Severus to touch it at least, he waved it and a glass fell from a high shelf. 

“Not that either then, Severus, not that either. Your magic however is more controlled than it was in your youth. Have you lost someone you care about recently?”

Severus stared at the man blankly unwilling to answer the question, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of a answer.

“You have at least gone through great hardship though surely?”

Severus nodded, and muttered “hardship and I are constant companions”.

“I have it then I believe the prefect wand for you, it’s in the back, but I believe it will suit you quite well.”

He came back quickly, carrying a dusty box which he sat down lightly. He opened it and handed the wand first to Severus without a word, and then spoke “Blackthorn, twelve and half inches Phoenix feather, rather springy. She’s stubborn, tricky and picky. Not unlike yourself, Mr Black. I am sorry to hear about your husband’s passing. Regulus was a good man. He was Cypress 10 inches, good at charms and rather springy. Now on to testing this wand.”

Severus did as he was told and he felt in his very bones, so he said a simple spell Lumos, and the wand caused a small light to appear. 

The old man smiled, told him and James the cost of the wand, which James himself paid. Severus felt lighter with a wand back in his pocket. He felt safer. He felt stronger. He felt like things could only go up from here. But now he had to buy the herbs and other things to tuck into his dead husband’s burial shawl. And this was going to be far harder than buying a wand. 

The apothecary had a small doorframe James had to push him threw without any help from Severus himself, if he had tried he would have scrapped his hands against the frame. Again a small step in. Severus sighed he never noticed these type of things before today, and why would he have? They didn’t affect him before now. And this was going to be the rest of his life. He rolled his eyes, at least the wood floors were smooth though there were a ton of tight spaces.

He went to work getting what he ended, Rose petals for love, wormwood for lost love and his love to travel, Lily of the Nile for love letters, Aloe for sorrow, buttercups for their children not yet born, dittany to say they would be born. And then olive for peace that Severus so wished his husband found in the afterlife. 

He sighed this was enough. This would do. This was done. Now onto the actual objects. He had no money and it frustrated him greatly the death eaters stealing what little he had on him that night James had found him. So like a good little Alpha James paid, even though he didn’t understand this practice of placing things with the dead. His parents didn’t want this. They had turned away from the old ways. Lily was interested them, so he personally had learned a small bit. But nothing on burial or death. Sirius had taken of Lily’s and Harry’s burial. He being as it seems like Severus trained in the old ways.

Next it was a store for small things like Severus was looking for. They had to be either metal or fabric one would stay for all time and the other to change with the body. He needed a little bit of each. Two sets of small blue baby shoes for the boys, his family was a small metal bird pin, a green ribbon for his schooling, Severus for his own self memorial for Regulus to have till the end of time was in a way odd. It was a necklace a locket with a snake wrapped around the heart. His husband was a Slytherin and he did love Severus will all his heart. It was paid for. Severus had James help him push the chair partly because he stressed, tired, but mostly the wizarding streets. Cobblestone was now his least favorite thing in existence. He sighed loudly to no one, but himself, James was figuring out if they should get dinner or go home or visit with his friends. 

They were both removed from their thoughts when a small house elf plopped down in the street in front of them. His old face filled with anger and possibly fear. He was nothing like the Elf James himself grew up around, this creature was nothing like nana James’s nearly second mother. The elf who grieved for Harry just as much as himself.

Elf grabbed Severus’s long thin

fingers into its own. “Master Severus I finally found you! The babies they are okay right? Poor Master Regulus! Poor Master Regulus! He died! He wouldn’t let me keep him safe! He drank the poison! Even though I swore it was safer I did. I reminded him of you, of the babies! Of his mother and life! He still drank it master! Sent me away after I brought him there. Something killed him! But his body was left whole. We elves talk about monsters like that! It was protecting the locket! Headmaster now has it! He’s trying to destroy it! It’s evil! The man who created it was the one who sent the creature to kill master Regulus!” Kreacher was out of breath when he finished, but still not high pitched, still gruff and old sounding. Severus did something rather odd he pulled the old house elf into his lap and said “Master Regulus would be proud of you Kreacher for listening to him. Thank you for finding and telling me. Mistress Black will need you now. Surely you want to serve her. I am now mated with a Potter surely you don’t want to serve me?”

Kreacher looked angry “you carry the Black heirs master Severus. The last piece of master Regulus who saved Kreacher I will always serve master Severus their mother. I will always serve the Black heirs. Master Regulus said that I am to care for you and them.”

And with that Severus told the elf and James he just wanted to go to the house. They could talk more there people were now starting to stare at them. 


	3. Fools who wear their hearts on their sleeves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home is where the heart is? Or home is where the heartbreak is? Or is Severus’s home still that burnt out little cottage in the country with the potions garden in the back. The river to the left, and where his greatest memories with Regulus take place.  
For James it is where his wife bled to death in childbirth, unwilling to get help because Peter had started a rumor death eaters worked at St Mungos. The former friend was then found to be a death eater.  
Or is home Harry’s nursery, the door forever shut.  
Or is home something else?  
Surely however it is not Sirius visiting for Severus. Or a house elf that pushes his buttons for James they grow to tolerate each of those things though.

* * *

The two men and the house elf had talked more at least a hour possibly more. When James’s touches became less than innocent. No longer a thumb to the back of a hand, or a small touch on the back. For anyone to see, though mostly just Kreacher, James grabbed Severus’s inner thigh, not realizing even he had done it. Not realizing that Kreacher had left the room, hiding in the kitchen, James all too focused on the task at hand. He pulled his mate into his lap, mouth on his bond mark, causing the other man to twitch and moan. 

Then Severus’s trousers and boxers were yanked off. He for a second was cold, but then James’s spread his legs, and slipped two fingers inside of him. Rubbing just the right places, just the right way. And then he started to talk.

“Sev you are such a slut do you know that? Letting me take you like this in the living room with the curtains open? What if someone was walking by? They would see what a slut of a omega I have. One whose nearly cuming on my fingers this very moment. Is that it want to cum on my fingers? Your belly rounded with children and your already begging for more. Is that your goal in live to stay rounded with children? Pregnant and nursing all the days of your life? You little Omega. You prefect little Omega.”

Severus whined loudly. As if pleading James for more instead of to stop. Yes he did wanted to spend the rest of his life heavily pregnant and nursing their babies. He wanted a house full of children. He wanted a happy family. He was submissive to his very core.

James sat Severus in his chair pushing him to the bedroom. And then pulled his shirt off laying him on the bed. James’s glasses and clothing were set aside. 

James’s grabbed both of Severus’s hands into his. Kissing the man who was his mate. “God’s pet, you like this don’t you? You like when I am rough with you, you like when I take what I want?”

Severus moaned, nodding, “yes I like it. Yes Please.”

”Do you like it when I tell you what to do? Do you like it when I do things for you, that you can do yourself?” Asked James.

Severus looked away and nodded. 

James leaned over mouth on Severus’s pale shell of a ear, “Well that’s good because I want nothing more than to tell you what to do, and feed you from my hand. No actually I want to take you more than either of those things.” He entered his mate whose mouth opened in a silent scream.

When his rut settled James retrieved Severus’s wand and dinner. Which was eaten off one plate. James feeding Severus. It calmed them both to do this. The Alpha because he was in control, and the omega because he had none. When finished they went to sleep. A huge gap when they fell asleep, which was not the case when they woke up as James had reached for his mate, in his sleep, making sure he was still there.

They woke up to a rather drunk man crying in a wild rage for James. “They killed my brother!” He shouted. “Those fucking death eaters and his omega who led him to them!” Sirius Black was three sheets to the wind on some sort of drink. Matted Black waves hanging in blood shot eyes. Dressed in ripped the old fashion way muggle jeans, and a open button down shirt and leather jacket. His motor cycle boots slamming into the hardwood floor was what woke Severus out of his comfortable slumber. Well that and the smell of the cheap beer his father tended to like. Surely Sirius Black could afford nice wizarding liquor and had no need for muggle cheap shit, that might as well be horse piss?

He groaned “Potter muzzle your fucking dog or I will!” James already yanking on a pair on jeans that he left on the floor last night. 

He joked to Severus, “yes Princess”.

The drunk omega then noticed the other omega under the covers. He charged at still slightly bent over Alpha like some wild bull who had seen red, “your fucking sleeping with the death eater bitch!!!! Surely you could find something that’s not greasy and evil! You have refused to go the bar with me, or meet the single omega woman Remus knows that’s why, because your shacked up with my brother’s killer!”

James simply shoved his oldest friend out of the room, and as he did so saying “Severus didn’t kill your brother! He’s not evil! Gods I don’t want to shack up with any fucking Omega! Snape and I was a accident! I would have told you if you didn’t act like a fucking idiot all the God Damn Time! He carries the last piece of your brother!” He slapped his oldest friend when they reached the couch. “He loved Regulus Arcturus Black more than his own very life! He wanted to die when he realized your brother was dead. His very soul nearly shattered! I likely only now have a mate because of children growing inside of him! My hope is we can build enough a bond before they are born, so he’s attached to me enough that he will want to live once they are outside of him! If you continue this Sirius I will rip your throat out, Remus be fucking damned!”

Sirius laughed in his drunken stupidity that James was rather growing tired of, they weren’t teenagers anymore, this wasn’t school, people they loved were dying directly caused by, and indirectly caused by the war. 

“Jamie it’s just Snape! The little greasy git death eater! He’s got you under the small spell he had on my brother!” 

James nearly launched himself at Sirius, but then both Kreacher and Severus came into the room. Kreacher was angry at the sight of Sirius, and Severus was dressed in a flannel night shirt long past his pale knees down to his ankles, and blue dressing gown. The swell of his pregnancy easily visible, as he sat in the wheelchair, though the nightshirt didn’t help matters. Severus looked some proper Omega, pregnant, soft, and well feminine. Not that James would ever tell anyone he thought that he did value his life after all. Though maybe the omega knew he looked feminine, maybe he liked it. Not that James would ever get up the nerve to ask such as question.

Severus turned to the house elf “ Kreacher go get Regulus’s brother a sober up potion, a hang over potion, and maybe something for that awful smell.” The house nodded and did as he was told. 

“James please don’t strangle your first friend, while I may enjoy it, you and that wolf will not like that you did during the actual morning. Though with a Omega like him the wolf may be grateful for you getting rid of it.” Drawled Severus, smirking at the disowned Black heir.

For the first time in his life Severus could look down his rather large nose at Sirius Black. The pregnant omega was first off pregnant. He had been mated and married to the man’s brother. He was a kept Omega, and even with Regulus dead that hadn’t changed. By sheer accident he went from the man’s brother to his best friend. Severus was clean, well dressed in brand new clothes, while Black looked like he had been dragged out of the gutter. Severus’s skin was clear, pale, and glowed from pregnancy. Sirius’s was dull, tattooed and greasy from not showering in possibly days. 

Sirius’s hair was both greasy and matted. He smelled horrible. His eyes glassed over from drink. He needed his Alpha it seemed to take better care of him. To give him the direction he so desperately needed, but his Alpha was Lupin, and Lupin had never been one to take charge. He left that to James or worse his own Omega. Remus Lupin was a Alpha who could of easily gone Beta or worse Omega himself. The man clearly wasn’t raised in a pureblood home. He was a halfblood. With a weak minded Alpha male father and a pushy Beta man as his mother. Severus still struggled to understand how the Lupin family even had Remus. His status as a werewolf not the only thing that made people question who he was (as well as what he was) and be uncomfortable by him. He was a oddity something that by the prescribed nature shouldn’t exist. Two males when one wasn’t a omega should not be able to have children. But yet proof was in Remus Lupin someway it was possible. Unless something else went on. Something the family didn’t make public.

Once James left the room to make tea for the odd trio, after Kreacher had brought said potions nearly shoving them down his former charge’s throat. Seemingly happy to do said task, Severus snarled at the other Omega “take off your muddy boots off the coffee table, or better yet take them off and put them outside where they belong.”

Sirius stuck out his tongue at the man, not unlike a child would do to it’s mother. “Make me Snape. Or is it Potter now? Or is Black? Couldn’t have me so went after my brother now did you? And got yourself knocked up to make yourself into a real pureblood. Little halfblood freak like yourself had no other hope. Enjoyed killing your own kind Snape? Surely your muggle father must of been your first kill. Destroyed the evidence that your nothing, but a poor little halfblood Omega with a muggle daddy. Pureblood mummy got knocked while she was playing on the bad side of town?”

Severus said nothing, but sent a stinging hex at Sirius’s face. A strong one, nonverbally so the pureblood would not know what hit him. 

“You little bitch” hissed Sirius. 

“If anyone is a bitch.... it’s you Black. Enjoy being fucked by a werewolf? You do turn into a dog after all,” laughed Severus throwing his head back at his own joke. 

“At least I don’t need my Alpha to wipe my ass Snape”, laughed Sirius. “Poor little Sevie can’t walk anywhere and needs the big Alpha to take care of him. Did the death eaters see you for what you are? Nothing but a little muggle freak. I never will know what my brother saw in your ugly ass. And I wait for the day James tosses you out like the trash you are. Those aren’t likely even my brother’s children, you likely opened your legs for any death eater willing to fuck you.”

Severus over to Sirius and punched him in the mouth. He hissed and somewhat screamed “Black you can mock my parents, you can call me ugly, you can mock my nature, you can mock my disability, you can mock my heritage, you can mock what I have done, you can suggest James will toss me on my ass, but I swear to you Sirius Orion Black....” his Black eyes flaring “Never suggest I did not love your brother. Never suggest I cheated on him. Because Sirius there are many ways to kill someone and not all of them are will a spell. I can bottle fame, brew glory, even make a stopper of death, and I can just as easily make one happen.”

”I love your brother Regulus, today, yesterday and forever. I have loved him since I was thirteen years old. I live only because he would want me to. For our children, and because he valued life. I would lay down next to him and die if I did not know he would not accept me into his arms again if I did so. And even with that? I would do anything to be with Regulus again for just a moment. Just to smell his scent, to feel his hand in mine, to hold him, to make love to him. I would give my life, my soul, my children to bring him back. Do not ever suggest I did not love your brother again. Or you will be meeting him again sooner rather than later.”

” And if you ever again suggest I cheated on him? I will cut out your very tongue. No cheek will ever come from your mouth again. Never to be able to do the only thing your good for sucking, again. And no one not even my own now mate will stop me. I have every right to under international body covering matings and bondings. I would simply be a omega protecting the memory of a dead mate. So I dare your Sirius Black to continue.”

The potions had seemed to kick in and Sirius gaped his mouth like a fish, his blue sliver blue eyes finally clear. And then he vomited all over the wooden floor and his leather motorcycle boots. Severus spelled the floor and the boots clean, as James came back in with the tea. He gave both men a dirty look knowing what they had said to each other, but not wanting to waste his breath to say a word. They would forever fight like cats and dogs it was simply a fact. 

He handed Severus his tea cup, and kissed the man’s forehead. Mostly to show Sirius the Slytherin did matter to him. Which caused Sirius to groan, though that could also of been the massive headache he was now likely sporting.

Edith and Simon walked into the room next to each other. It seems the cats had taken a liking to each other. Simon towered over the small black female, they both laid down near fire.

Sirius Black did not know what to say. He and his brother had not been close since Regulus had been sorted in Slytherin, and nearly all contact was cut when, the elder brother left the family home at sixteen. Next year seeing Snape sporting Regulus’s bite bond mark on his neck didn’t help matters. Surely it wouldn’t when your brother mates with the boy you bullied for years, and on the other hand would anyone want contact with the brother who nearly killed your now mate with a werewolf when he was fifteen. He had heard through the grape vine that the two Slytherins had joined the death eaters at seventeen and sixteen respectively. He still was his brother though. And it still hurt. It hurt because their relationship had never been mended, and never would be. 

Then to have Dumbledore tell him that his brother had died on a mission for the order, which he did not know the younger Black had joined. That his brother was trying to go right. That the man had seen the light, only to die because of the very same choice. Sirius had learned from his own “father” to solve his problems with the bottle. The man had taken to drinking to solve his problems after the boys both had been weaned. Truth was Orion Black was a oddity, a strange creature, a male Omega with a female Alpha, Walburga. So in truth what the world thought was the boy’s mother was their father, and their father was their mother.

The Alpha wanted to keep up appearances, even to the harm it had caused her mate and her children. She was horrified when her first born was a Omega male, just like her blasted husband. She tried everything including beating it into her son, Sirius to make him everything he was not, everything he could never be. She warped the young Omega’s view of the world, his own secondary gender, and how he should treat others like himself. She nearly caused her son many times to take his own life, not that she was one to care, she was on a one track mission make her child unlike its mother. Make it something she wanted to be proud of. And that was not a Omega.

Sirius was however not like his dam, he was not one to go along with things. He inherited his sire’s nature, not his dam’s. It left the Gryffindor lost in a sea of trying to figure out his place in the world. It led to a loving though convoluted relationship with one Remus Lupin. His only grounding during his childhood had been Regulus, the only one willing to give him some sort of sane direction he very much craved, but had been trained from birth to not admit. 

In public Orion was the head of house, the head of family, the pillar. In the home it wasn’t odd to find the man stripped naked being whipped in the parlor in front of his very own children. Sometimes their mother made the children whip him. Sometimes she turned the whip on both of the boys. Sometimes she made the boys whip each other. Regulus at one point refused to whip his crying Omega brother after the other boy’s first heat at twelve, so she cursed him so violently his limbs felt like they were being ripped off his body. All Sirius said when it was said and done was you should of just whipped me. And Regulus said then I would be just as bad as her. 

Walburga in public was soft, demure, high collars to hide her lack of bond mark, and her husband in the same to hide his. Female Alpha’s in pureblood society were seen as outcasts, things to be given to halfblooded Omega women, Betas, rarely Omega men or even hidden away in some cases. It was rarely that they took a precious pureblood male Omega as a bond mate. 

The two second cousins bonding had been a sheer accident, dancing at a party to save face neither finding another partner to dance with. So it was better to dance with each other than stand their like living statutes. The two wouldn’t admit, but they were attracted to each other for years. Orion had zero desire to be forced to marry and bond with some pureblood man, who could of been twice his age. He begged his cousin to save him from that fate. He would do anything for a life other than that. 

Walburga craved the seat of power that came with being a male Alpha if she couldn’t have that, she wished to be a Omega woman which came with its own set of power. She was neither one or the other. So they went out to the gardens with each other at Malfoy manor. Orion was bitten, and out of desperation they sealed the bond right there. Under the stars, Orion became pregnant that night. That was why they decided on Sirius because Orion remembered seeing the Dog Star through their horrid forced separation that nearly killed both him and his unborn child. He clung to that during that time. His baby his Siri would be born. Walburga clung to the fact that Orion needed her, that her child grew in his pale rounded belly her future heir. No one could take that away from her, she was going to be the one who created the next generation of Black Alpha heirs. That’s not exactly what happened.

They by keeping them separated had made Orion weaker far more needy, and desperate for approval in all situations, from his Alpha and anyone else, and made him need drink to deal with the emotional strain it had left him with. They turned him into a shell of himself. Walburga on the other hand became violent, hostile, and viewing Omegas as wastes of space. Her own broken Omega proof that they were incapable of taking care of themselves, that the world would be better if no Omegas existed.

Their family in trying to stop could of been a healthy bond, ruined at least three people, the mated couple, and Sirius who didn’t know where he fit into the world let alone his own relationships and now bonding/marriage. Regulus had escaped in a way, but he also made choices that led to his untimely death, like Cypress wand owners of the old.

Regulus gave his life so others may live. So his brother could have a happy family he would not admit he so desperately craved. So Severus could no longer have that mark on his arm, so his sons would grow up in a world where they weren’t destined to be killers simply because of what house they were sorted in. Or worse to want nothing to do with killing and be bullied and killed themselves for defying some halfblooded swine, who believed himself to be a lord. 

Remus Lupin in his patched grey muggle button down shirt, dusty brown robes, surely what was second hand brown boots fell out of the floo. He coughed and then cried out “Sirius I have been looking everywhere for you! Where have you been? Dumbledore told me the news and I knew you would go get drunk or try to hunt down Snape and murder him...... Wait James why the fuck is Snape in his night clothes, in a wheelchair in your living room?”

Severus rolled his eyes and drawled “I happily answer your questions once your dog of a omega has a shower, he still stinks like he rolled in a pile of muck. No spell or potion is going to fix that. And if you must call me by my last name as of this moment it’s Black. I haven’t been a Snape in years. And if that’s not possible I do answer to my first name Severus. Sinvy or whatever you and your gang of idiots came up with other the years. I have a first name either use it, or call me by my proper last name.”

Sirius snarled “I do not smell, say what you want to now!”

James’s face pinched before he added “pads you kind of do.”

Remus nodded, and said “Siri let’s go get you cleaned up, James either has some of your clothes here or you can borrow something of his.”

The formerly drunk man snarled before chucking off his leather jacket at the throwing it towards the front door, his boots were haphazardly thrown in Severus’s direction, though not directly at him, his shirt was taken off and left on the couch. Severus stared at the other Omega his upper chest covered in tattoos quotes, and simple black drawings. When Remus dragged his mate in the direction of the bathroom Severus saw something unexpected, unlike the cheap, poorly drawn tattoos on his chest, Sirius had a well done in color werewolf on his back. One of the scars on its face was the same as what Lupin had above his eyebrow. Surely the man didn’t... But it was Black of course he did. 

The sight of the tattoo made Severus think of fifth year, when James had saved his life, and Sirius Black had tried to use his now mate to kill him. He basically labeled himself property of a werewolf, but that was likely the point. Sirius Black didn’t care what anyone Alpha, Beta or Omega thought of him. Besides maybe his mate and Potter, and long ago possibly what Pettigrew had thought, but that was surely as dead as a doornail. One thing that Sirius hated more than death eaters, and even Severus himself was traitors. 

Once the two men were in the bathroom and James heard that the water was on, he asked his mate “how in the hell did you get Sirius to listen to you? He doesn’t listen to anyone! Not even Remus!”

Severus laughed soundly, “he didn’t listen to me Potter”, he saw how his mate snarled at that name, “James, I simply put pressure on Lupin to make his Omega do the right thing, which happens to also be what I wanted. It had nothing to do with me. Rarely, Remus put the rules down in a way, he laid down the law. If he did it more Sirius likely would take better care of himself, and Regulus also let me know what their childhoods were like. Sirius doesn’t know what he is. Never allowed to be the Omega he is, but forced to be a Beta and worst times a Alpha he’s never been capable of being. Trying to make him be anything, but a Omega is like trying to force a fish to climb a tree. Impossible, frustrating and dangerous.”

James shouted for Kreacher, who came again from his small hideaway bedding of sorts he had made in the attic with clear frustration on his small wrinkled face, more than usual that is. Nana was on the old side and needed her rest. She would have long days and nights once Severus’s twins were born. Kreacher seemed younger than her, and not likely as good with children, so he would serve the “Potter” family in James’s mind until the twins came. “Go get the clothes from the hall closet a set of each for master Black”.

The house elf snarled “Master Black is right there master Potter and his clothes are in the master bedroom as are yours master!”

James pinched his thin nose, and hissed “the son of your first masters is here. His clothes are in the hall closet. He needs one of each. And do collect his clothes in here and in the loo when they are finished in there. Master Black as you call him, is Master Severus, he will be Master Potter when we are married. He is my mate now, not Regulus’s!”

Kreacher said “I will do as Master Potter says, but until you are married” pointing at Severus, “that is Master Black! He is the mate to my favorite Master, Master Regulus!” 

Severus said “Kreacher I will always be Master Regulus’s mate, but he is no longer mine. Master Potter is. And I will always miss Regulus, but the twins need a father, a living one, and I need a mate to stay alive and for the protection given to me by one.”

Kreacher screamed “the old headmaster killed him! He killed master Regulus by making him work for him! He only did it Master Black to try and save you from the fake lord! He’s the reason I no longer have master and why your no longer have your proper mate!”

James sighed “surely that’s not true Kreacher, Dumbledore wouldn’t put someone’s life at risk for nothing. I know you are upset by the lost of your master, but you cannot make outlandish statements like that. Not out in public or under my roof. You cannot bash someone whose not even here to defend himself!”

Kreacher snarled at James, and did what he was told to do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will not be bashing characters. Including Dumbledore. To me the headmaster is a rather bright shade of grey. I do not consider making Sirius a drunk bashing, he’s in his twenties in this, and he’s a wild child.  
Orion and Walburga are going to be fleshed out more though, I do hope I did quite a bit of that in here. They are unlikely to feature in the story, but the cloud of them does hang over Severus, Sirius and in thinking back Regulus. 
> 
> Dumbledore did as I believe is earlier in the chapter mentioned sent Regulus on the mission. (His cannon death of sorts, though with slight changes , but is a mission for Dumbledore in my story.) The headmaster didn’t send him on it to get him killed, no matter what Kreacher may think. Though I worry my Kreacher is coming more off like Dobby, though he is younger in this fiction, has not suffered abuse by Sirius, adores Severus (cough babies), and in character Kreacher doesn’t fit exactly what his role in the story is unfortunately.  
I plan to also possibly flesh out both Remus’s and Severus’s parents situation. I apologize for those with Remus who don’t like ploy relationships. This is your warning his parents (Remus) were in one in this story.  
Severus’s parents were not, though that is not a happy story to tell, as Sirius hints on it with his jabs at Severus’s parentage.  
I enjoyed writing those two interacting. I enjoy reading stories where they get together, but can’t write them as anything, but wanting to rip each other’s throats out. I hope the anger towards each other fits who they are as characters.  
Remus being a submissive Alpha is simply he’s not one to enjoy what James does. He’s softer, he’s calmer he will force issues if he must, but it’s not his thing. I want him this way to balance Sirius whose like a biker bull in a china shop.


	4. Everyone dies, not everyone lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus Lupin is a odd fellow, his wizarding parents a Alpha and a beta two men who were incapable of having children. They had given up on ever having them. They were outsiders of outsiders, but they were okay with that. They were happy, and that’s what mattered. Neither fit into a standard mold of what they were suppose to be. 
> 
> Lyall’s job led them to someone who would change everything, and John was willing to do anything to make his husband happy, even if it meant turning their odd duo to a odd trio with Hope.  
Regulus Black was everything that Severus Snape was told by his mother he should want, pureblood, male, Alpha. And all he thought he would never have. The man’s own past made them understand each other on a level that no one else possibly could. Their happiness was gone in a flash, but was Severus suppose to expect when he married a man who owned a Cypress wand during a war?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it’s not clear I own nothing, but surely you already guessed that?  
Funerals, sadness and talks not in that order. And a desperate mother willing to do anything to save her son.

Severus sighed loudly, he no longer could avoid telling Remus Lupin about why he was here. The man had done what he could to make Sirius Black presentable. His black waves were no longer matted, his clothes a pair of jeans that had seen better days, and muggle band shirt of some kind. He didn’t smell like he had rolled in something that had died. Cheap muggle beer no longer on his breath as he breathed.

Nothing else to suggest to do, nothing left to be done. Only thing to do was transfer on the loveseat next to James, which the other man helped him do. He needed the man’s woodsy, campfire like, cinnamon, along with something which just smelled male. 

Unlike Remus Lupin who smelled like salt, grass, and the sea if he was being kind. 

Sirius Black smelled nothing like Regulus had. Not one bit. Not totally remembering how the other Omega smelled he hoped for something that reminded him of Regulus. Now without the beer clouding it he smell like Pumpkin, cigarettes and sweet. It was a odd smell. It made him want to run from it, but surely that was the point with them not being compatible? He likely smelled different to his mate.

Regulus smelled like broom polish, fresh cut herbs of some kind, clean sheets, and something he could name but thought was parchment. Not shocking considering the man loved Quidditch, was a experienced portioner, loved a fresh made bed, and spent most nights awake writing.

He winced as he shifted to a better position on the loveseat with his arms, closer to James and further back. He pulled his dressing gown around himself and spoke “first off I do not care what either of you think. You are not my friends, and Black made it clear years ago I am not family. You will listen to what I have to say and not voice judgement, because I do not care to hear it. Then you may do whatever my mate wants you to, but I and hopefully he will be returning to bed.” He cast a Tempus it was 5:30 am in the morning. Far to early to be dealing with a former school bully and the boy who stood by and did nothing. He ignored the fact he was mated to a former school bully. 

“I joined the death eaters along with Regulus because it was that or death. My mother in law gave us those two options. She had already lost one heir what was another by that point? So we joined, though if we would of not been forced we would have been neutral.”

The three men winced at the comment of neutral. Gryffindors neutral wasn’t in their vocabulary. You were either them or against them, and that was not how the real world worked. 

He continued “neither of us were quite active I mostly made potions, Regulus helped with that, and did some spell crafting with me.” The Gryffindors thought back to what Severus was capable of when he put his mind to creating spells. All were useful, some even dangerous.

”We made ourselves too valuable to send on missions. We made our hides worth more than those who we could kill. I am not a innocent person, I will never claim to be. Our plan was to keep our hands clean as much as possible. And then we lost the second pregnancy we had. It may of been a potion I had to work on, stress or just life. Thinking back I don’t even know if it holds any weight. But it planted a seed in Regulus’s mind. I believe this was when Regulus was reaching out to Dumbledore, I am not sure of that, and I may never be. He asked me to sabotage my own research on dangerous potions or spells. I wrote it off as simply if I became pregnant again he wanted to keep our future children safe.”

He sighed loudly, head in his hands wondering if was worth speaking the rest. Would they even understand? Would they want to murder him when he was done? Was he a horrible person no. But that didn’t mean that he could make them understand that. 

“I became pregnant a third time a few months ago. I know for sure that Regulus switched sides. He didn’t involve me in it to protect me, and the children. Because of the fact while I could keep it from the dark lord I had switched sides, he might not be able to unfortunately. If he was discovered I was innocent, but in the same token if the light wins I would be counted with him. Do not think I had choice in the matter. He didn’t give me a choice, didn’t actually ask me, and I now have to put the pieces together.”

He sighs again staring at the window and the rain falling outside. He missed Regulus, he missed their country cottage, their potion’s garden, their little porch, the river, their lab, their feather bed, where they made love each night, generally if they could. 

“When Regulus didn’t come back, I knew something happened, I didn’t know what was going on, but then Narcissa came to me and said I had two options face the death eaters for the actions of my husband, or run. I choose to face my death. My goal was to die. Instead they tortured me. They left me broken and near death in the alley. They removed my mark to not connect my death to them. James found me in the alley, he mated with me for some unknown reason, likely nothing more than instinct. I can’t claim to be innocent, I am a sinner, I am no saint, but I am not a death eater and want to bring them down. I want them to pay for what they did to my husband, my family and my life.”

The two other men seemed shocked lines showing on faces of men who should not have them. James already knew all of this, Severus felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. 

He stared outside as the thunderstorm raged. He wished for nothing more than the ability to step outside, and smoke a cigarette. It would clear his head, allow the others to think and get him away from the feeling of being suffocated in the house. Cigarettes were no longer a option to calm his wild mind or his fidgeting hands. Simply stepping outside no longer a option to escape a room. Severus from a young age had learned to run from his problems, and running was no longer a option.

Sirius Black started to stand and walk towards Severus. It caused the man in the wheelchair to roll backwards expecting something harsh, like a slap, and who would blame him with what the only living Black had done to him over the years? Instead Sirius grabbed him in a hug. And then the tears started to fall. Maybe it was leftover insanity from the beer, maybe it was the suffering the other Omega had gone through, maybe it was simply Sirius was starting to see what Regulus always had in Severus, a Omega who had been through hell. Who used snark to distance himself from others, who used violence to gain respect, who craved attention no relative ever gave him. 

In that moment Sirius saw something not unlike himself it the man, who was once his brother’s mate. This man carried the last living piece of Regulus Black, Sirius’s only sibling, inside of him. He would do anything within his power to protect this Omega, and his nieces or nephews. 

Severus didn’t know how to react to the tears or the hug. This was so unlike Sirius Black, this was so unlike any Black for that matter. This was so unlike any Gryffindor to hug a Slytherin, but stranger things had happened he was mated to James Potter after all.

“ It’s okay, I promise Sirius, it’s okay, it will get better, Regulus wouldn’t us to fall apart. He would tell us to get back on the broom called life. I know it’s hard. Believe me it’s not easy for me. But I have sons to think about. And you have a mate, Remus. Surely he needs you. And your nephews will too. They need to hear stories about their father, about your childhood with him. I can’t tell stories about him I wasn’t there for.” Said Severus, rubbing the other Omega’s back.

Hoping that Sirius would pull himself together, it was quite odd to be hugged by the man who tried to kill him as a teenager. Who bullied him relentlessly. The man who tried to break his and Regulus’s bond. And yet he did not shove the man away. Sirius Black was a touched starved Omega. The man who couldn’t understand his place in the world. The first person who had given him any sort of direction, his baby brother was dead. And it seems Severus had to be a part of holding him together now. Along with Remus that is.

Orion, but mostly Walburga had screwed up their children so very badly. Sirius was far more affected then Regulus had been. With Severus’s former mate it showed in little ways, his unwillingness to take direction even if his mate was right. His unwillingness to allow others near Severus, his unwillingness to ask for help, from anyone even Severus himself. Severus promised himself his children would be raised better than their father, mother and uncle were. He was going to be a better parent even if it killed him. 

Seconds later Remus stood up to collect his Omega bringing him back to the couch with him. Remus’s own childhood did not prepare him for a mate like Sirius Black. His Papa, John was a Beta, funny kind and gentle. His dad Lyall was a typical Alpha strong though the man was not good at keeping his opinions to himself, which led Remus to ending up as a werewolf, after Lyall had said the wrong thing to one such creature named Greyback. 

Hope was a omega, though she was a muggle. She was the last to join the trio. Remus inherited his honey colored hair from her. His gentle nature, his love of books, and his willingness to shut out things he didn’t want to deal with unfortunately. They seemed so set on protecting Remus after he was bitten from himself, and others they forgot the boy was only a werewolf during the full moon. They didn’t teach him to be a proper Alpha. They didn’t teach him what his mate may need from him.

Hope was a spit fire, willingness to plunge into the magical world without a second thought showed just that. As it did her willingness to become part of something which was frowned upon, a triad. They had their happiness, but at the price of not showing their son how most relationships in and out of the wizarding world functioned. Theirs was by far not the norm. Lyall was a passive Alpha, John a agreeable Beta, and Hope was like fire. She was a aggressive Omega not unlike that of Sirius Black, her son’s mate or even Lily Potter herself.

Remus held Sirius as he continued to cry. Rubbing his mate’s back. “Siri I promise I love you, I adore you. Sweetie Reg wouldn’t want to see you this upset. Surely Severus needs your help with the funeral and you can’t do that if your crying?”

Stupid, Idiot, Moronic Alpha thought Severus. Sirius Black needed comfort. True Comfort. He needed a reminder of his place, he needed a reminder that the world was okay. That he was loved, taken care of and understood. Instead Remus fucking Lupin pushed Regulus’s funeral planning onto his mind. Something else for the clearly damaged Omega to deal with! God’s no wonder why Sirius Black seemed unstable! The person who was suppose to keep him stable wasn’t doing his damn job! Not every Omega, more so Male Omegas were fiery like Lily. Most needed to know they fit into the world exactly as they were suppose to. Black clearly needed that. And Lupin wasn’t giving it to him. 

Severus said “Sirius you can help me with my plans later today, Madam Pomfrey said she should be done with the body tonight or tomorrow early in the morning. He would want you to help, but first I really need to talk to Remus could you and James go do something? Surely you two have your own catching up to do? It will not take long and I would like a few more hours of sleep after.”

James went to say something, but Severus gave him a look, a raised eyebrow and those black eyes clearly said this needed to happen. Severus was going to talk to Remus about what he was doing wrong with Sirius. 

“Hey Siri I think I have a pack of muggle smokes still, that should help you calm down some. Let’s go outside for a little bit, and I know you love running in the rain we can do that as well if you like.”

Sirius wiped the tears from his blue grey eyes and nodded following his best friend outside after James grabbed the smokes. Severus did not want to know what running in the ran was. Sure his now mate and former brother in law did not turn into? 

They likely did. It was a fact. And Lupin was likely the reason. That might explain why at times Sirius smelled like a wet dog, and James always smelled faintly of the woods. Let them keep their secrets he did not care. They weren’t even friends. Just two broken people forced by their natures to mate. Now Lupin on the other hand he had some talking to do with. And it had nothing to do with his past and everything to do with Remus’s future. 

**********

Sirius lit his cigarette without, no with tons of thought. He couldn’t think about his brother. His dead brother. Regulus had been the only reason why growing up Sirius kept trying, why he didn’t just hang himself for his father to find. Or worse jump out of a third floor window at their home. Because Reg would be there. Regulus would know his brother gave up. And maybe Regulus would feel the need to follow his Omega brother in death. The young Alpha had always been the leader of their pair. And now Sirius was without his brother to care for, to rekindle a relationship with, but most of all he was without the person who was the first to give him true direction.

Sirius’s problem was when his brother choose to mate with Severus, was he knew he would no longer be Regulus’s main focus. He would no longer be his brother’s first thoughts in the morning and the last at night. It was not incest in their case, they were not their parents. That single thought caused Sirius to mentally gag to himself. He had no sexual desire ever for his brother. They were brothers. But you could have a Alpha and Omega relationship without sexual feelings. It wasn’t uncommon in situations like their own to tide someone over until they could have a romantic relationship. 

Sirius’s problem was he hoped his younger brother would never find a romantic relationship, that the Black brothers would be celibate. Something which Regulus had never agreed to, or wanted to be. Whether it would have been Severus or someone else, Regulus had wanted to mate with someone. And once he had met Severus on his first day at Hogwarts, well their fates had been sealed. A Black generally always got the mate they wanted. Their family history was the biggest help when it came to that one, in pureblood and halfblood circles.

Everyone who was considered pureblood was related to the Blacks in one shape or form. James and Sirius were third cousins. James and Severus were fourth or fifth cousins, Severus and Sirius (And Regulus for that matter of course) fourth cousins. Remus and Sirius were not related, but Remus was from a clearly Welsh wizarding family which until recently didn’t even send their children to Hogwarts, not wanting to touch the English system. 

Intermarriage was just a part of being born a witch or wizard in England, from a wizarding family that is. Most Muggleborns (Lily) included hated the idea of such things, but they tended to bow to the understanding it was just what happened. Lily had not though, insisting she would encourage her unborn son to marry outside of the pureblood English wizarding world. Either from the mainland of Europe, America, or even the muggle world. 

James just shook his head and went along with it. Knowing it was unlikely his son would agree with his mother and do as she said. They would never know if that was the case, being Harry didn’t see a week old let alone seventeen. 

Sirius set aside those thoughts. He had smoked four cigarettes one after another. He set the pack aside and transformed into the dog he sometimes was. He gave a little yip to encourage James to transform as well. The man did so, the stag and dog ran through the forest behind the house. Leaping over down trees, as the rain pelted their sleek coats. They both missed the days when all they had to worry about was the full moon, whether Remus would ever kiss Sirius, and why Lily liked Snape so darn much. Those were far easier times for both men.

****************

Regulus Black’s body was laid out on the Potter dining room table. Orion was standing in the small living room, he could not convince his wife to join them for this. Walburga wasn’t one to mourn, even if was her favorite son. He wasn’t looking forward to her reaction when he went back home that night. But Regulus needed at least one of his parents here for this.

Sirius his oldest son, but a Omega like himself, and his wife always reminded him, the weaker secondary sex, was barely holding it together. Regulus’s mate was pregnant with his grandsons. 

Severus was not what Orion would of chosen for his youngest. He remembered Eileen Prince his mother from his own youth. She was a tall sullen, skinny, ugly, ruthless Slytherin so unlike her secondary sex was suppose to be. She was matched with Orion’s own brother, before she ran off before even finishing her seventh year. Many years later when he was introduced to one Severus Snape he was able to figure out what happened to the Slytherin girl, who could of been his sister in law. She was forcible mated by a muggle Alpha named Tobias Snape, unable to leave him due to having no where to go, unable to marry his brother because of the pregnancy, not accepted by her parents because she was bonded to a muggle. She was a woman, a omega, with no options not unlike Orion himself. 

His own Alpha at one point, and time was a wonderful person back before their parents tried to break their bond. He admitted they both were just slightly insane from those months. Neither of his children had much hope of a normal life. But they were his sons. The children he himself went through labor to bring into this world. And one was laid out dead as a doornail due to the dark lord. He only joined Said dark lord, due Walburga’s pressure to “right mating a halfblood”, she may as well of killed their beautiful son herself. 

Orion fell to his knees. He should of been a better father, he should of been a better Omega. He should of been a better dam. The verbal abuse of his wife running through his broken mind. Her torture didn’t help the man, it only made him worse. “I am sorry Regulus. I should of done better by you!” He cried. He wasn’t acting like a proper Black. But damnit that was his son. His baby. He brought him into this world. He shouldn’t be seeing the sign that his son had clearly left it. 

A tissue was pressed at the edges of his sliver blue eyes, by of all people Severus. “He knew you loved him. He didn’t blame you Orion. He knew about what your parents did to you. What they did to his mother, and what his mother then did to you. I thinks that’s why he took such good care of me. To not be like Walburga. To be the Alpha his own dam never had. We were trying to figure out a way to get you out of that house, Orion. If you want I still will try. You are these babies grandfather, none of what I do will ever change that.” He placed the older Omega’s hand on his rounded belly. “One will be Regulus to honor their father, and the other Orion just as Regulus had asked me to”. 

Severus took a good long look at the Omega before him. Orion Black at one point was beautiful. Not handsome beautiful. His large haunting sliver blue eyes he gave both of his sons, with long black lashes framing them. Long wavy hair that was now mostly grey. His gaunt face had high cheek bones, his thin nose, his sharp chin. Orion Black could of had anyone when he was young, but why did he choose Walburga? Thought Severus. He might never be told the answer. The true answer. But in choosing her he set his children and himself up for abuse. Maybe she was different before she was separated from her heavily pregnant omega. 

Severus wasn’t going to let himself ever be treated like Orion, hell he wanted to stop Orion from being treated like Orion. His sons would never be treated like Regulus and Sirius had been. They would be allowed to pick their own mates no matter what anyone else thought. It was their lives, and others could just deal with that fact.

The objects were tucked to the coffin by mate, brother and dam of Regulus Black. The three closest men in his life cried as his coffin was lowered in the ground. James and Remus hung back. They both barely knew Regulus Black.

They had known him in passing, not more than just a name to be spoken and a face to be seen. James gave them space as the dirt magically covered Regulus over. His headstone was made with magic and already waiting to go in place. It said his date of birth, death, and beloved son, brother, mate and father. With the family’s motto in Latin at the very bottom. James thought it meant always pure or something like that. 

He laid flowers on Lily’s and Harry’s grave. They weren’t buried that far from Regulus. Severus and him could mourn what could of been within spiting distance of each other. 

Severus had insisted the older omega stay for dinner, then coffee, he didn’t want Orion to leave. He didn’t want the Omega to have to face the violence from his Alpha that was sure to come. And it wasn’t discipline, it wasn’t pain down to remind Orion he was loved, cared for and wanted. It was pain done to cause nothing but pain.

Regulus had regularly spoke of many times he was afraid that his mother was going to kill his father. Packing the man’s wounds, giving him potions, using magic once he was old enough. Sirius had run from such tasks, not having the stomach for it. Sometimes even suggesting his father deserved it. Other times Regulus refused to allow Sirius to help. Worried his brother would never take a mate if he saw how bad their mother treated their dam. That he would think all Alphas treated their Omegas that way. Regulus knew it was not the case, because he would never treat anyone surely not his omega how mother treated father.

Orion gave up on trying to leave. He didn’t want to live the quiet living room to be screamed at or worse. When James led the old omega to the spare bedroom he gave in. He could spend a night here. There was no harm in one night. She would be just as angry tonight as she would be tomorrow. One night in a comfortable bed would simply help him prepare. 

Surely he would not be allowed to share a bed with his Alpha after disobeying her. Part of him wondered what Walburga would do if he never came back. He would decide each day on each day. He didn’t have to decide what he was going to do now. 

One Narcissa Black aparated with her son outside of the small Godric’s hollow, she heard rumors Severus Black was here and she was in desperate need of his help. He was one of the greatest potion’s masters of their age, if anyone could help her son it would be him. Bellatrix Lestrange his own aunt stole young Draco’s eye sight, as punishment for his father’s failure. She banged loudly on the door. Manners be damned this was her son.

She was desperate for someone anyone to come to the door. It swung open and she was faced with....... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know what will happen to Orion I just felt horrible for the situation and as I wrote it I thought no. Just no they wouldn’t allow him to go back to her. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter it was a odd one to write. I had a small list of what I wanted to get done, but none were easy to write. Hope you enjoyed it as least.

**Author's Note:**

> And if you didn’t realize by the tags? These two have serious mental health issues. James has PTSD from Lily’s death. He was looking for something to kill him. 
> 
> Severus has PTSD from well? Life. His life. My Severus has been through utter hell, but so in my opinion has cannon Severus (cough). They will both see mind healers. 
> 
> If this was real life neither has any business in a relationship. But it’s not real life. It’s Fanfic If you are experiencing these thing? Please get help. Reach out to either a medical professional or a friend. Your worth fighting for. 
> 
> I wanted to write a Alpha/omega James/Severus or Severus/Harry story. And as a visibly disabled person (who happens to be a part time wheelchair user) I wanted to write about disability. Where it isn’t just mentioned or healed.  
I enjoy torturing Severus Snape because I relate to him so much. This isn’t my disability. If I get something wrong let me know. My disability however (well main one) is genetic and harder to explain. Lily in this story has a form of it. Not my form. But the worst to have.
> 
> So I wanted a visible disability fanfic, a genetic illness one, or a a/b/o. A dream last night brought them all together. And I seriously hope it works. It’s fun to write. It’s drawing me in. I first planned to just make notes and set aside. And the over 6 k words happened. I hope you enjoyed.


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